Monday, 1 August 2011

Three Men, Three Nights

A bit of Mummy Misfit Fantasy today!

Imagine you could spend three evenings with three men from the past.  Who would they be and what would you do?

Here are mine:


I don’t know what it is about this man but, whenever I see a photo or TV clips of him, I’m convinced we’ve met in the past.  The first time it happened, I actually felt a shiver go up my spine.

The 20’s and 30’s are my favourite eras and I’ve been fortunate enough to perform in many of Coward’s plays to immerse myself in these times.  Oh, the glamour and the wit.  So terribly English and frightfully clever.

Apart from Coward’s chic and poise, he was a homosexual.  What a great date for a fag-hag like me!  However he never wanted to discuss his private life as he believed that “any sexual activities when over- advertised are tasteless”.

What fun we’d have on our night out!  I’d be achingly de rigueur in a fabulous flapper number and we’d start with cocktails, smoking Sobranies in unfeasibly long cigarette holders.  Then we’d move on to the theatre to see the play à la mode and end the evening at a club, sipping champagne and doing the Charleston.  I’d perform ‘I Went to a Marvellous Party’ with Coward accompanying me on piano.

“I couldn’t have liked it more!”


The actor of ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ and ‘Harvey’ fame.  Two great black & white films I remember from my childhood.  The first still makes me cry and I’m still convinced I saw the invisible giant rabbit in the latter.

Stewart was known as a kind, softly-spoken, true professional.  He married only once, highly unusual for a Hollywood star, and was a generous philanthropist to many charities.

He owned a dog called Beau and was heart-broken when he had to have him put to sleep.  You can view him reciting a poem written in Beau’s honour here.  If you’ve ever loved a dog, make sure you’ve got some tissues at the ready!

So my date with this wonderful gentleman would be walking our departed canine friends - Jimmy with his Beau and me with my Prince & Ralf.  He could fill me in on all the Hollywood gossip and we’d share precious moments with our four-legged soulmates for one last time.

“Aww, shucks!”


OK, I know he wasn’t the ideal husband or father but he looked like my dad and never failed to make me laugh - and still does.

I was addicted to the ‘Carry On’ films when I was growing up and still like a little top-up every now and again.

Aside from his womanising, Sid was known to be a gambler.  His last wife was never told the full amount he earned, which allowed him to feed his addiction.

So I guess my night of dirty laughs and innuendo would have to be in a casino filled with all the ‘Carry On’ stars - Leslie Phillips, Kenneth Williams, Joan Simms and Hattie Jacques.

“Cor, blimey!”

Got you thinking?  Which men would you like to spend a night with?  Now don’t be filthy, that’s another blog.  Be inventive and let your imagine run wild.

Bet you surprise yourself!

Diary of a Mummy Misfit is available on Amazon for Kindle. Now also in paperback at Lulu.

1 comment:

  1. I would love to spend an evening with Shinichi Suzuki, even though I am such a poor apology for a Suzuki Mum. I actually believe the man is a saint. I know I would come away inspired to be a better person, not just better Suzuki Mum.

    Then I would spend an evening with Aldous Huxley. Perhaps he would have some tips for surviving the Brave New World. He had some interesting ideas on group parenting in Island.

    Finally I would fly out to the Calypso for an evening with Jacques Cousteau. I grew up watching his explorations of the undersea world every Sunday night. I only recently learnt he invented the aqualung. Wherever the Calypso was the food was the best & there was plenty of fine wine. A gentle paddle around gazing at the sights on a coral reef, then settle down for a boost feast, and a round of sea shanties.