Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Thoughts on Marriage

I was talking to a couple of women at our Royal Wedding street party and they were delighting in the fact that their husbands would be away on business for a couple of days.  "Oh, bliss!" they said, "No dirty washing to pick up, watch what I want on TV, eat what I want."
I felt a bit of a wuss for not being able to agree - my husband and I have spent two nights apart in twenty years, once when I had our son and once when my husband had renal cholic (far more painful than pushing something the size of a melon out of something the size of a lemon, he reliably informs me!)
We don't spend nights apart because we don't want to.  Why would you marry someone to not be with them?  I married my best friend and every minute we spend together is precious - even when we (occasionally) bicker about petty things like not putting the teaspoon back in the teabag pot (me to him) or over-feeding the cats (him to me).  That's what makes a strong marriage.
We've had a pretty tough few years - redundancy, coping with a son with school refusal, caring for my elderly mum and we haven't had a proper holiday for eight years (no violins, please!),  but we get through it together by doing the things we do best.  Trusting and laughing.
I really believe that without those two things we would be nothing.  A marriage should be based on trust because without it you have nothing.  I trust my husband with my life and my heart and I truly believe he will always do right by me.  I think he believes the same of me.
And laughter, well, we never stop.  Luckily we both have the same daft sense of humour and are known to spend many a dull night making up ridiculous games.  And with the laughter comes talking.  We do it non stop and never seem to run dry.  Don't you hate it when you see couples in a restaurant who have nothing to say to one another?
With my husband by my side, I believe anything is possible.  He believed in me when I said I was going to write a book and he supported, and continues to support me, every step of the way.
So ladies, no I don't want my husband to piddle off on jaunts or business trips because I enjoy having him around.  I like him!

Libby and Ned have an excellent marriage in my novel Diary of a Mummy Misfit - on Amazon for Kindle.

Now also available in paperback at Lulu.

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