Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Stuff That Makes My Brain Hurt!

Do you ever find yourself uttering the words, ‘I just don’t understand’?

These are words that often pass my lips.  Maybe I’m dopier than the average person but there are many things in life I find hard to get my head around - I can try to tackle them from every conceivable angle but … nope … still no joy.

Let me share five of them with you today and see if any of them are on your list - and I’d be really interested to know because then, maybe, I won’t feel so alone in my ‘dopiness'.

Hubbie is in awe of this particular subject and loves talking about it - the fantastic scales between the objects in our own solar system and the mind-numbing distances between galaxies, super-clusters etc. - it all fascinates him in search of the bigger picture.  I’m the butt of jokes between him and my son.  I really don’t know which is bigger - the moon, the sun or earth - and as for orbits or eclipses, forget it.  I SO don’t understand it all, I had to get my husband to help me write this bit to explain what it is I don’t understand!

I’ve talked about this before but it has to feature on this list.  Me and numbers just don’t get on.  I think I must have missed out on a vital building block somewhere along the way and it’s too late for me to ever catch up.  My brother-in-law tried his hardest when I was young, but even he looks at me with a resigned shake of the head when he sees me counting on my fingers to work out 8+4!  Yes, it’s really that bad.  I remember the days stuck in a stuffy classroom attempting logarithms and algorithms and thinking, what’s the point?  Will I ever need to use these in my life?  The answer is, of course, no - unless I want to send a rocket to one of the far-flung places mentioned above.  It would be nice to be able to add up though.

OK, so you have a problem with your ‘fandango’ or your ‘wedding tackle’ but you’re too embarrassed to take it to your friendly local GP, where it will be assessed in the privacy of his surgery.  I’ve got a great idea!  Why not go on TV and show 2 million viewers nationwide.  That’s gonna make you feel a whole lot better, isn’t it?

DUMMIES (Pacifiers)
Now, I’m anti-dummies generally.  Babies cry for a reason - hunger, pain, frustration, tiredness - but I can see why mums resort to them, I’m not daft.  I became a human dummy for a year and it’s exhausting so I don’t knock anyone who makes that decision for some peace in the early days.  What I don’t get is when you see toddlers playing happily and then removing a dummy to eat or talk.  Grrr!  Why?

Downloads, hard-drives, gigs, ram, memory, processor speeds, anti-virus, cookies and disc-drives.  Son and hubbie talk another language and I glaze over.  All I hear is, ‘Blah, blah, blah!’  A Twitter friend actually said he thought I was putting it on as I couldn’t possibly be as thick as I made out.  For the record, I’m not putting it on, I am thick.  All I need to know is that my laptop does what I tell it to and you can keep the rest of your gobbledegook to yourself.
So come on, any that you agree with?  Want to share your own?  Answers on a postcard please!

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  1. OK - the one that leaps out is the Embarrassing Bodies bit! I'm with you all the way on that one!!! I also hate toddlers with dummies - yuck!

    But if there's one thing I just can't get my head round, it's people who look at you blankly when you mention something you've just read in the newspaper or heard on the radio news. It's as if they think you're 'weird' because you keep up with current affairs. World affairs or even UK news that effects our every day lives... you mention it and they give you 'the look'. Sorry - but I don't want to pass time discussing where someone bought their shoes or handbag, or discussing the weather. Maybe it's just me...?

    Lara Lakin

  2. Brilliant :D

    You really should come to stay with us, you WILL know about space, the universe et al afterwards. Unless like me some days when my children are discussing black holes and white giants over breakfast, turning Daybreak off for the Discovery channel, stick your fingers in your ears and hum loudly!

    I'm with you on numbers. I try, I really do, and hubby teaches it which makes me look really thick when it comes to homework time.
    Times tables are my nemesis. I remember having to teach it, and come the Friday morning spelling and tables test used to feel physically sick!

    Don't even go there with Embarrassing Bodies... cringeworthy tv! X

  3. I can't get my head around geography. I'm thick as pig poo when it comes to countries and their whereabouts. I once mistook France for Ireland and only a few months ago I discovered there aren't two separate Ireland's - I thought there was one Ireland (republic of or northern, I really have no idea) on its own while there was the other part of Ireland attached to the UK, up near Scotland somewhere. My brother thought I was kidding but I really am that stupid.

  4. I could have written this post myself, though I do love spacey things and have a giant telescope set up in my house. But maths, technology and dummies are most definitely things I can't get my head round!