In Celebration of the Teen

The teen will turn 19 on Thursday, so last night saw us enjoying the first of many celebrations.  We got together with his best friend from primary school - before he heads back to Uni tomorrow - his parents and sister, an old family friend and another of the teen's pals from secondary school.

The theme was 'Curry & Games' and, as usual, we had a ball.

We'd just recently been given a John Lewis voucher for our anniversary so we splashed out on new china and cutlery.  I think our black and white themed table looks pretty glam.

Our dining table had to get ditched in the garden as it's not big enough for nine guests.

This is our ping pong table glammed up by a damask cloth my Dad acquired as an antique dealer.

I'm ready to party.

Still hating the new hair.

As the current obsession in the Misfit House is 'Breaking Bad'

we ordered a rice paper cake topper from eBay for his chocolate birthday cake.

The 'cooking' reference comes from the series!

He was pretty impressed.

Once the meal was over we started on the games.  The Misfits are well known for the daftness of our parties and, thankfully, our guests are always willing participants.

We started with 'A word from a Song' - this involved single words on a piece of paper, picked from a hat and then we each had to sing a line from a song containing that word.  E.g: LOVE - 'She Loves You' or 'Love, Love me Do.'  The aim of the game is to find as many as possible containing the word.

Then we moved on to 'Paper Art'  - we picked a category such as 'animals' or 'things you find in the kitchen' and we each had to tear a piece of A4 paper into the shape of our chosen object.  We were surprised at how many cats and giraffes we had.  Then we had the lazy man's effort of 'a puddle of milk' for 'found in the kitchen'!

Next was 'Alphabet Story'  - we began at a random point in the alphabet and told a story line by line with each person starting the next line with the next letter of the alphabet. E.g:  Amanda went shopping.  But the shops were closed. 'Can't think what to do,' she said.

The game we played for the longest was 'Keep it going' - the teen would find a well known song on his iPod and we would start to sing along with it.  One example was 'Bohemian Rhapsody'.  While we were singing, he would suddenly turn it down so that we were unable to hear it and we had to keep singing to see if we were at the same point on the track when he turned it back on.  Much fun and laughter was had by all, and I have to say we didn't do too badly.

This then led onto 'Joint Bongos' with the teen and his friend taking half a bongo each and bashing out tunes while we danced - quite a lot!

Action shot!

Their hands were moving so fast, they're a blur!

I can't believe that these are the two boys who used to camp on the floor.

Fine young men to be proud of and a joy to spend time with.

And from our boys, I gained a best friend.

(and also a Goddaughter - not pictured)

A sneaky ciggie in the snow, 13 years ago, and we're still going strong.

'You had me at the snow!'

Ugh!

The worst part of a dinner party - the clearing up.

 

Mr Misfit and other menfolk were at the party but we seem to be short on photos - which, when it came to the dancing, is probably just as well!

 

We had a fabulous time and were all feeling a little exhausted this morning.  Now ... on to his actual birthday on Thursday.  But first, sleep.

The Day after the Night before

I'm a little bit 'floopy' today.  After weeks of preparation we finally enjoyed our 20th wedding anniversary party last night and what a night it was!  My poor feet and legs are in complete shock as our resident DJ (read: The Teen) barely gave anyone time to grab a drink, his tracks were so varied and infectious.  In fact we danced SO much, the photos are a little thin on the ground as we were all too busy getting our groove on.  The teen got lots of video evidence but there's only so much I'm prepared to share!

Our theme was FUNKY FLORAL SUMMER and thankfully the weather delivered beautifully.  After heavy winds and cloud, the evening suddenly became almost tropical and we were able to enjoy using the marquee in the back garden to chill out and then (at 2 in the morning) our little patio area at the front.

Our marquee, complete with FUNKY FLORAL bunting - made from oilskin - and some pretty flower lights

 

We decided to take it easy on ourselves with the food as we knew how much we threw away after my 50th.  Some pre-cooking and freezing saw us come up with this selection of delicacies.

Salmon roulade, savoury muffins, mini quiches, Thai fishcakes.

What this photo doesn't reveal is that there's a heap of food on the other side of the kitchen!

We gave each of our 30 guests a nice little glow with some Bloody Mary Gazpacho shots too.

We decided to be brave and inventive with our 3 tiered cake.  I ordered the large base cake from Waitrose and then we iced and decorated 2 more tiers. We incorporated the FUNKY FLORAL theme and this is what we came up with. 

Great British Bake-Off eat your heart out!

As our guests arrived we had cocktail music playing in the background and a copy of our wedding video playing on mute.  Many of them found themselves lost in watching and laughing at how we've changed over the years.  We also put together a selection of photos for people to giggle at.

The teen was invaluable and helped with food, technical issues and being an all round good guy.  Here he is having a pre-party shuffle with his Nanny!

And looking pretty pleased with his DJing skills!

The marquee got quite packed at times after all that dancing.

And here's the happy couple with their baby boy!

We were delighted to welcome my Twitter buddy to our home again.  The beautiful @Nurseyjo boogied her little socks off and was the perfect party guest.

We look like we have rather extravagant head-dresses on - me with the peach and her with the pink.

We HAD just been shimmying to 'Copacabana' but no headgear was required.  Or maracas!

My good friend 'Fenella' started the entertaining with a couple of songs and then ended with audience participation in a singalong to 'Honey, Honey'.  From then on there was no stopping us!

Once again, everyone left saying what a fab time they'd had and I've had some pretty weary texts and calls today.

Who says you have to spend a fortune to have an absolute ball?  Cinderella and her Prince Charming of twenty years did it with style on a shoestring.

Smug!

Twenty years ago today, I married my best friend and today I'm shouting it from the rooftops.  There was never any doubt that we'd make it this far - we're in it for the long haul, through thick and thin, richer and poorer (!)

My life without Mr Misfit would merely be an existence - I realised this when he went back to Oz to see his family in June and I went on the 'MY HUSBAND HAS GONE TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD DIET'!  Hello Size 10 jeans and people saying, 'What's your secret?'

But I'd rather have a few extra pounds on me and have my soul-mate by my side.  Simple.

So, fetch your sick buckets because here's my tribute to the other half of my whole.

TWENTY THANK YOUS for:

All the laughs.  Never a day goes by ...
The endless songs from the minute you open your eyes.
Supporting me and spurring me on.
Your patience.
Our gorgeous son - we did good.
Putting up with me.
Your calm logic.
Being the voice of reason in tricky times.
Making me a part of your lovely, accepting family.
Cherishing me and always making me feel special.
All the toasted sandwiches.
Never looking at me as if I'm mad - when deep down we both know I *may* have lost the plot.
Telling me if my bum looks big or if something doesn't suit me.
All the times you've told me, 'Well you didn't die last time so I don't think it's likely this time'.
And all the times you've told me, 'No the cat is definitely not dead - I'd say he's probably asleep under a bush'.
Loving my mum and all her foibles.
Making me feel complete.
Running with my stupid ideas - but having the courage to tell me when they're really stupid.
Wanting to spend as much time with me as I do with you and not getting bored with me.
But most of all for being the nicest, kindest most caring man I know.

20th August 1994 and married for 20 years.

I raise my glass to Mr and Mrs Misfit.

 A team to the bitter end.

Muddling through

I've been on a bit of a learning curve this week - it's not been a pleasurable experience (although it has had its moments) but it had to happen and I'll come out the other end a stronger person (or so I'm told).

Things I've found out so far:

Cats will throw up huge dollops of sick when they know you're the only one around to clean it and the mere thought almost results in the possibility of human sick being added to the equation.

I have the best friends in the world.  A blog will follow next week on this but I am truly blessed.

Cars will break down when you least need them to.

Mechanics will flirt with the 'little lady' and touch your bottom in a cheeky fashion.  They will also make sexist comments like, 'Oh, you broke it did you?'

Because you want your car fixed urgently, you let randy mechanic get away with it and then kick yourself afterwards.

The teen is a young man to be proud of and is fantastic company, even when he beats me at Scrabble, poker and just about any other game we turn our hands to.

Recycling is a complicated job and one that I'm not very keen on.

A second bout of weight loss makes your trousers start to fall down as you walk.

Garlic mushrooms on toast with rocket and parmesan are the best things to eat when everything else tastes like cardboard mixed with sawdust.

A glass of wine on a Tuesday lunchtime is a bad idea.

I have a first class honours degree in worrying.

I can throw together salmon steaks on a bed of spinach and tomato with new potatoes for a dinner guest in twenty minutes, even when I have no brain.

Never to watch 'Friends' with aforementioned guest again as he will talk, ask questions and drive others up the wall.  Picture watching something with a five year old and you've got it.

I have the most romantic husband in the world.

You've Got a Friend in Me

The theme of friendship is one that I hope comes across strongly in my novels.

Friends come into our lives for all sorts of reasons, don't they?  Often from the most unexpected of places and those who stay with us the longest are sometimes the most unlikely.

My two closest friends are both very different but I know that they will always be there for me with either a shoulder to cry on, a friendly ear or lots of giggles.

Friend #1 has been around since I was 18.  She was the year above me at drama school and I always thought she was so in control and grown-up (I soon learnt that was just an act!).  She'd moved from Scotland to live in London and she just seemed so worldly-wise. She was (is) also a Tourette's sufferer and (perversely) I found this fascinating.  At 18, she was just so DIFFERENT to anybody I'd ever met before.
A drink at the pub after a rehearsal one night and we were soon inseparable.  I'd often be found at her piddly bed-sit (read 6ft x12ft servant's loft room in Notting Hill Gate) 'topping and tailing' in a single bed and talking through the night as we tried to remember all the characters names in 'Crossroads' or the lyrics to a Bay City Rollers' song.

Never able to afford cabs back from parties or clubs we'd simply pick up a shopping trolley on the way and take it in turns to push one another home.  To this day, we can still be seen sticking out a thumb to a discarded trolley and shouting 'Taxi!'

Thirty one years later we are still friends - she moved back to Scotland and married, having a son two years and two days after I'd had mine.  We've spent good times (and bad times) together as families and, although I have some issues with the way she is choosing to live her life at the moment, I know we will always be there for one another.

Friend #2 came to me via my son's best friend from prep school. She's my 'Fenella'!  Chalk and cheese in so many ways and yet so alike in others.  She really is the 'Have' and I am the 'Have Not'!  Think a city version of 'The Good Life".

It was a cheeky ciggie that brought us together at a parents' quiz night many years ago.  Finding the company of the other parents a little too over-powering, I'd sneaked out to the front of the school for a nicotine fix and some peace only to find that she'd had the same idea.  As we started to chat it began to snow - huge magical flakes were beginning to surround us - by the end of the conversation we were ankle deep in snow and she'd invited me for dinner.  The rest, as they say, is history.  We often laugh about how our coupling happened because we'd both felt so out of our depths with the other mums and her favourite line to me is 'You had me at the snow!'

That was eleven years ago - our boys, having changed schools, have still remained friends and I am also Godmother to her lovely daughter.  We have also become close friends with her ex-boss and we share dinners, drinks, family celebrations but, most of all, laughs.  She (and her husband) have been more supportive than I could ever have imagined all those years back in our Winter Wonderland fag break.  Yes, she holidays in the sun, has beauty treatments, shops till she drops and thinks nothing of having cocktails, a theatre trip and a meal all in one night, but we just 'click'.  We get one another and I know that we will be friends for life.

Another of my closest friends came about in a strange way.  I was friends with her (now) husband first, and she was actually my sister's friend before mine, but thirty-four years later we have stayed close and meet a couple of times a month usually for a huge meal and some silly games - I was the person she called in panic when her husband suffered a heart attack and I was pleased that we could be there for her.

Others have moved away - our dear friends who were caretaker and teacher at my son's prep-school (again a union made from 'not belonging'!) went back to Oz but we chat on the phone and they stay with us whenever they pop back to the UK.  It's thanks to them that I have my lovely little antique writing desk and my Kindle - constant reminders of a shared affection.

My closest gay friend took his life four years ago and is still sorely missed.  I can never replace the friendship we had and will often see or hear something that I know would appeal to his bitchy sense of humour and I have a little smile for him.

And of course my best friends EVER are my lovely husband and my mum - I couldn't ask for better.  The love and support they give me are priceless and I count myself truly blessed.

So what do you look for in a friend?  Are your friends similar to you or totally different?  Do you choose your friends for different reasons?  Who's your oldest friend?  Could you live without friendship?

I'll end on this song purely because I love it and it reminds me of my other little buddy's growing up years - my son.  It was also once played, by accident, on a loop at a school assembly until it drove us all mad.  My son's Headmaster stood and said, 'Well, it's just as well I like that song!'

Lost Tooth, Gained Wisdom

Well, what a week!

The ear infection that was ... wasn't.  The pain was eventually diagnosed as a nasty, TWISTED and manky wisdom tooth.

So these past few days have been a real learning curve for me in very many ways.  Wanna know what I've learnt?  Some of it I already knew, but some has been reinforced.

*  I have the best husband, son and mum in the world.  Nuff said.

*  I can do anything if I put my mind to it.  Years ago I was told by a dentist that the only way I'd be able to have wisdom teeth removed would be under general anaesthetic.  Not true.  The wonderful young man I saw at North End Road NHS Surgery was the most efficient, chairside-friendly dentist I have ever met in my life.  From start to finish, the way he dealt with me was 5* and I shall be leaving a review on any sites that I can when I get his full name (for now he is just simply 'Mr Wonderful').  Thankfully I just need to return for a scale and polish and to collect my dreaded 'night shield' to protect my gums but 'hats off' to this fantastic practice and I'll always return for future treatments.

*  My coping mechanism is to go into 'shutdown'.  Possibly annoying for those around but it works for me!  I did the same in labour - no swearing or cursing from me, just TOTAL silence and a glazed stare.  Hubbie told me that 'Mr Wonderful' looked me directly in the eye at one point during my dental treatment and said very calmly, 'Connect with me.  Focus on me.'  I don't remember, but it must have worked - five minutes later he had a massive tooth in his hands.

*  I now know why babies pull their ears when teething.  Good grief, what a confusing and travelling pain.  Mums, listen to me, it's true! 

*  I should not surf the web prior to any medical procedure.  So far I have 'died from an infected abscess, had a dry socket which has left me in agony for weeks, bled to death in my bed and also needed to be stitched up due to clots and anaemia'  Will I learn?  No! 

*  I escalate from mini-setback to major drama in under 30 seconds.  Being faced with 'The Amityville Horror' in the bathroom this morning instantly (in my mind) saw me in hospital and on life support (yes, I really work that quickly!)  Lovely hubbie, after saying, 'Shit!  That's a lot of blood!' then calmly dealt with me, and then the fantastic staff at the surgery put my mind at rest.  Why do I do that to myself?

*  I am a pitifully, stupid addict.  I know it's not advisable to smoke after an extraction and I managed to last for six hours without having a cigarette but that was as far as it went.  I have cut  RIGHT DOWN and I rinse with salt water or mouthwash after each one but I am a pathetic specimen.  SO pathetic, I may now be addicted to salt water and mouthwash!  If I get 'dry socket' I deserve no sympathy - you heard it here first.

*  The support from close friends, Twitterers and readers has been phenomenal.  From people I've known for years to people I've met a few times and those I plan to meet in the future, I've felt very loved and cared for by texts, emails and Twitter DM's.  One lady in particular, who also saw me through my last bout of sciatica, deserves a special mention.  Drum roll, please ... Ms Mireille Eustace!  If you're in or around Glasgow, go and see this lovely complimentary therapist at Napiers - I can guarantee you won't regret it.  Mireille has been there for me through this whole ordeal and advised me and calmed me down.  Her next visit to London is one I am REALLY looking forward to and my door, dining table and bed are waiting for her.  (Oooh, that sounded wrong but I just mean she's always welcome to shake a feather boa with me.)

* Dealing with something is far better than worrying about it.  What a total waste of energy.  My husband is the King of this philosophy and the more I live with him, the more I see that he's right.  Being married to me means he has a lot to put up with (!) and I love him more with each passing day for his sense of calm and logic.  I bagged a good one there!

* If your house is a tip and you've got friends with teens coming to stay, it doesn't matter.  A hearty meal, a lovely table, some daft games and a singalong will be all we need - time/distance (and a messy house!) mean nothing to some friendships.

*  Life without pain is wonderful!

So that was my week - hope you all had a good one and hoping mine continues to improve.

    

Tweet Meet!

Twitter’s a funny old thing, isn’t it?  When you first go on there you feel like you’re talking into a void and, in many ways, you are.

Then you start to chat to a few people who share your interests or views and you begin to gather followers.  Suddenly you find that you’re chatting to people on a regular basis and you start to care about them and their lives.

Have you had your baby yet?

How have your book sales been going?

How’s your mum?

My original reason for joining Twitter was to market my books and it’s proved to be invaluable.  I’ve chatted with fellow Indies, met book reviewers and basked in compliments from my readers.  But as I’ve trundled along in my Twitter journey, gathering over 3,000 followers in just over a year, it’s become so much more to me.

Now, obviously I don’t talk to all of my followers every day.  There are many I know nothing about and have never directly Tweeted.  But I do know that Twitter can deliver a solution to most problems I throw out there.  A nurse advised me to take my mother for painless ear vacuuming when she suddenly went deaf, a friend gave advice on fixing our boiler and another gave step by step instructions for mending our PC.  I’ve received birthday cards, Christmas cards and a bottle of essential oil for my aching back - all from strangers who have become friends.

I’ve met two people separately for a coffee and chat and I regularly have a mutual phone rant or jump for joy with fellow Indie, Michelle Betham.  Aside from that, I am in daily email contact with several Twitterers and others by direct message or text.

In short, I have made friends.  And this became very clear on a Tweet Meet I attended on Saturday.

Organised by the wonderfully mad @jackie495, ten like-minded ladies headed off to Maxwell’s in Covent Garden where we lunched and sipped champagne.  The majority of us had never met before and we’d come from all corners of the country with one purpose in common - to get to know one another better, to chat, gossip and have a giggle.

Vik @yummymummylivin presented us all with goody bags of brooches, notebooks and purses and I am now the proud owner of a wonderfully pimped Kindle cover, thanks to her.

Jo @has2bpurple gave us all bath bombs - in purple, of course!

And @jackie495 gave me ‘Billy the Goat’ - a long story, but check out the pictures on my Twitter account if you want to find out more! (click tab above this post's heading)

But the one thing we all brought to the table was laughter and positivity - support for one another’s projects or life’s hiccups.

If someone had told me a year ago that I’d be heading off to lunch with ten people I’d never met face to face before, I would have laughed in their face.

But I’m so glad I did and I have Twitter to thank for it.

So glad, I’m actually doing it again in November and March and meeting Jo for a coffee in the next few weeks.

The joy of social networking - when virtual friends become real ones.

Let's Part-a-a-y!

Aside from writing, my dream job would be party planning.  There’s nothing I like more than grabbing a new notebook (paper always features heavily in my life!) and scribbling down the jobs that need to be done for that perfect event.

I’m currently in charge of decorations for a friend’s 60^th birthday and my imagination is running wild with the shocking pink and gold theme.  I can’t reveal too many of my plans here because I’d have to kill you (and aforementioned friend might be reading), but it’s going to be classy with a touch of wild!

Money is tight for most people now but I think it’s important to realise that you don’t need a lot of cash to turn on a special event.  My son was well known for his unique birthday parties (always at home) and I would spend weeks planning table designs and original activities - these included a Quiz Night Sleepover (never again with 6 over-excited seven year olds) Treasure Hunt, Dinner Party/Talent Night and a Murder Mystery.  They were heavy on time and light on money.

Similarly with our friends, I love to turn a simple dinner or birthday celebration into something a bit special.  We’re lucky to have friends as mad as us who throw themselves wholeheartedly into the proceedings and often reciprocate with an equally whacky theme.

So today I’m going to share a few photos from various occasions and offer some of my tried and tested tips.  Make this summer the time to gather a few friends, ignore the weather and have a laugh.

MUMMY MISFIT PARTY TIPS

1. Plan in advance.  Make sure everyone knows the date and the theme.  Decide if you’re doing a sit down dinner or a buffet.  Consider each couple bringing a course or a dish to lighten your load, work-wise and financially.
2. Themes can be as extravagant as a Murder Mystery (cheap on eBay or in charity shops) or as simple as a Quiz Night -  the internet makes it so easy to set questions now.  Other favourites of ours are Room 101 - each guest nominates 3 things they want to get rid of.  They bring props and give their argument as to why they should be ditched.  The winner is the one who convinces most people their choices should go in Room 101.  Desert Island Discs - each guest chooses 3 songs they love and 1 they hate.  The songs are played as you dine and everyone votes on each other's choices, the winner being the one with the most points.  A Challenge Night - great for mixed ages and abilities.  Set 5 daft challenges such as ‘how many frozen peas can you transfer from one plate to another by sucking on a straw in 1 minute?’ or 'how many coins can you balance on your upturned elbow'?
3. Consider using outside areas.  A simple cheapie gazebo can be totally transformed with a bed sheet, paper chains, fairy lights and hanging beads.
4. Have a playlist suited to the night.  For our Royal Wedding Dinner we made sure we had suitably regal or nuptial music.  OK, The Sex Pistol’s ‘God Save The Queen’ featured but it had to really!  Our Hollywood Night had songs from musicals and stage shows and a few brave performances from guests.
5. Never underestimate the Pound Shop.  In the past I’ve bought candles, both real and battery operated (ideal for kids' parties or windy outdoor events), champagne bubble-blowers, serviettes and Christmas wreaths that can be adapted to make a table centrepiece.
6. Make your table stunning.  Cloths can be expensive and often boring - look at duvet covers and sheets as an option.  Old drink mats (also picked up for a song in charity shops) can be covered in funky wrapping paper and then coated in varnish or sticky-backed plastic.  Buy the gift wrap to coordinate with paper serviettes and work your colour theme around those.  For your next dinner, simply rip off the paper and re-cover.  Decorate small gift boxes for each guest and fill with chocolates. The lids can be adorned with the coordinated paper and topped off with old brooches or earrings.  Make ornate name cards to show each guest where they’re sitting.  For our Hollywood Dinner all names were on mini clapperboards that we printed on the computer.  Place a centrepiece of flowers or candles on an old mirror and it will double in size and look more effective.  Sprinkle the table with confetti, rose petals or beads.  A well laid table will make your guests feel loved.  A close friend always tells me I ‘give good table'!
7. Kids’ party bags don’t need to be filled with expensive tat.  My son's friends once left a party delighted with artist pads and oil paints from the Pound Shop - useful, didn’t rot their teeth or end up clogging someone’s hoover!
8. Costumes for events don’t have to be hired or cost the earth.  Most charity shops have heaps of stuff that can be adapted with a dollop of imagination.  For our 2^nd World War Murder Mystery, I put together my uniform for just under £10 and adapted my husband’s shirt to ‘air force’ with ribbon epaulets and plastic medals.  My Audrey Hepburn dress for the Hollywood Dinner, came from Primark and hubbie adjusted it to become tailor made!

So here’s some photographic evidence [CLICK TO ENLARGE].  Hope you enjoy and that it inspires you to have a go.  Oh, and if anyone wants to give me a book deal on party planning, you know where to find me.  I’m no Pippa Middleton but then most people don’t have her family’s budget!

 Our 10th wedding anniversary in our back garden.

The same Argos gazebo was transformed into a

Big Top for our son's Circus Murder Mystery.

Our son chose lilac and purple as his theme

for his 8th birthday quiz and dinner.

 ... and black and white for his treasure hunt dinner.  This is

where we used a duvet cover as a cloth.  Each guest had a

menu to choose from, 'champagne' bubbles and chocolate box.

 A Christmas table or two.  Cream and gold

was the theme that year.

 Our Royal Wedding Celebration.  Pink for a Princess.

 For our Italian/French themed Murder Mystery we went

a little bold.  The plates are hand painted by ... me!

 Which meant the costumes were bold too!

Yes, I'm wearing a wig.  

 Our 2nd World War Murder Mystery table.

 And the costumes that went with it!

  We made a gramophone from a cardboard box

and put a tape recorder in it for the event!

For my Mum's 80th we made a dummy of her to greet her

on arrival.  This shows work in progress from stuffing her 'legs'

to papier-mache head and the finished product.

My mother's hair is NOT orange but it looks it in this photo!

 Son at 11 decided he wanted a Swinging Sixties
party - flowers added by me to charity shop gems.

My 'Audrey' for our Hollywood Night!

For a friend's gangster night.  I was meant to be Diana Dors!

I've even been an Asian lady (again a Murder Mystery).

Mrs Sengupta, eat your heart out! 

'On the Titanic' at a friends' house.

 A Lords and Ladies Night - boys against the girls! 

So there you go.  Have I inspired you to host an event?  Let me know and, if you've any other party tips, I'm always happy to add more.