I know I shouldn't smoke or drink wine but I do them quite happily. But when it comes to doing my thrice weekly yoga, I have to drag myself there, kicking and screaming - a pretty fancy yoga move in itself!
We are constantly faced with choices in life. An apple or a bar of chocolate? Mmm, easy.
A brisk walk up hills or a trudge round the shops looking at things I can't afford. Again, a doddle.
Black decaf or full fat, full strength frothy latte. It's a no brainer.
See what I mean, I'm bad through and through because I just love the naughty stuff.
Now don't get me wrong here, I can just see you picturing a wheezing, clinically obese hag tapping away at my laptop as I shovel down another packet of Hobnobs and swig from my hip flask, dropping fag ash over the keys. I'm not that bad. I could afford to lose a couple of pounds (couldn't we all?) but I'm a good girl in some ways - I do force myself to do the yoga. I drink water and have lots of salads, beans and veg. That's really only because I actually like eating them though, so it's no great chore.
We live in a world where everyone is constantly image-conscious. "Go to that gym, botox that wrinkle, live on air and mung beans!" No one is alllowed an imperfection and people are striving for the unnatural all the time. That's not the way God intended us to be, surely? What about the inside of us - whether or not we're a good person? I'd rather go to my death bed with people saying, "She had a good heart and was a dear friend but, boy could she put away the Maltesers!" than, "Such a smooth unlined body and her breasts never moved when she jogged her morning 10k!"
So, now I 've had a little think about it, I've decided I'm going to remain partially bad. Life would be so boring if I wasn't and friends and family wouldn't recognise me.
I'm going to make a coffee, have a ciggie, call a friend-in-need and then do the dreaded yoga.
So remember a bad girl's rules for a happy life;
Never trust a person with a half eaten bar of chocolate - they have too much willpower.
A little of what you fancy does you good - and sometimes a lot of what you fancy is even better.
You never see a size zero Burlesque act and how sexy are they?
Any food eaten on a Sunday is calorie free - go for it, it's true!
Nigella can get away with it so why can't we?
Why do you think God invented chocolate in the first place? - It would be rude to waste it.
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