Family sayings

While writing my book, I was racking my brains for an expression that my Godmother frequently used because I was determined to include it - then it came to me, "Ye Gods and little fishes".  She's been gone for a good few years now but I can still hear her saying it and it brings a smile to my face.
So this got me thinking about daft sayings or words that come from my family, in-laws and friends.
Sadly most of my dad's would be unprintable as he was known to be rather blue of tongue but his favourite, if somebody was a little gormless, was "She looked like two penneth of gawd 'elp us". Silly, but you certainly get the message.

Here come some more from my family:
Poor Uncle Wiggley - used when you hurt your finger and you're showing it pitifully.
Up the corner - a sour or sharp taste.
Worse than Lyons - when someone's clearing the dinner table if you haven't finished.  Lyons Tea House was famous for this.
Not today of all days - self explanatory!
Glomping - the huge, disabling, full bodied hug our son gives us in bed.
Fluffy McPluffy - the fluffing of pillows before sleeping.
Friday night relish - to truly enjoy your bed because you know you haven't got to get up early.
Thuman beans - human beings (my nephew at about 3).
Derp - to burp (nephew again!).

My husband's family:
Who let Fluffy out the bottle? - who passed wind?
You've had already a banana - my Dutch mother-in-law, to imply you can't possibly be hungry anymore.
Pog/ pog rag - to pog on the table is to make a mess which you clean up with the pog rag.
A sunbeam - a piece of cutlery that hasn't been used so doesn't need to be washed up.
Bella, Oo-hoo! - whenever the name Bella is heard it's always followed by Oo-hoo as that's how their Aussie friends used to call their cow in for milking! Recently reversed by inserting the Bella ahead of the Ohooo's when singing along with Beyonce's "Halo"
I taught you vell, my son - mother-in-law to husband whenever he achieves something, to take credit for turning out such a great son.
Hobbler - another word for horrible, "You hobbler creature!"
Een ounce kont in een pond broek - another Dutch pass-me-down,  a tiny ounce of bottom in a huge pound of pants (i.e. baggy trousers).

And friends:
Plockton toast - toast that has barely seen the grill (from a run-down Bed & Breakfast in a British holiday resort of the same name)
You're oiling me - you're annoying me (friends' son at 4)
Kenny Dalgleish - the standard answer to any football question in Trivial Pursuit when you haven't got a clue.
You look pretty - to be said in a really camp voice when the person is clearly not looking their best (e.g caught out at the door by gay neighbour when wearing manky dressing gown and no make-up).
Don't want a black egg, thanks - friend regularly to my husband after he ONCE achieved the impossible by charcoaling a fried egg.
Can't eat eggs with the window open - same friend as above, only applies to fried eggs as they taste "too eggy" with fresh air.

Feel free to add yours here!

Diary of a Mummy Misfit is on Amazon for Kindle or PC.

Now also available in paperback at Lulu.