FUNKY FRIDAY - with author Jamie T Dougan

This week I welcome a Twitter buddy who I regularly meet in my kitchen for a cider/wine,  cake and a gossip.  (For kitchen, read DM box on Twitter! )

Jamie, put the cider down and describe yourself as a writer in five words.

Novice, learning, descriptive, uncertain, sentimental.

You've been invited on Big Brother - Writers Special!  Do you accept?

Hmm, I think I'd wait and see who else was going in the house first ... and then pass LOL!

It's your dream week as a writer - anything is possible!  Tell us what happens.

I get the week off the day job. My wife and kids go away on holiday for a week and my internet fails. Leaving me no option to write without those distractions. And at the end of the week, one of my books hits No1 on Amazon and I can say na,na, nee nah nah to those out there that have doubted me.

What's the best and worst thing about writing, for you.

The best thing is that writing is my escape from reality and I can live the dreams I didn't achieve through my characters and in the stories I create. Especially with my latest release 'Offside!'. None of the characters in that are based on anyone from real life but in Shane Henderson, the main character, I get to be the footballer I didn't get the chance to be when I was a kid.

The worst thing is selling. Trying to get your book noticed by the right market is hard work and I find it a big struggle.

If you had to take one book to a desert island, which would it be and why?

HG Wells War of the Worlds. I've read this countless times since first reading it at school. I'm a sci-fi nerd in some ways.

If you were offered a squillion pounds to never write again, would you take it?

Nope! Money to me is a necessary evil. The world would be a far better place if we aimed to better ourselves through knowledge rather than financial gain.

QUICK FIRE ROUND

Planner or Winger?

Winger. There was no synopsis for Offside! and the synopsis for the next in the series has already been binned.

Night or Morning?

I'm a nighthawk. I write at night when the routine of everyday life is done.

Doer or procrastinator?

A bit of both but it really depends on my mood and what kind of day I've had when it comes to my "writing time".

Writing/first draft or editing?

Editing. I seem to write the story better when I'm editing it.

Tea or coffee?

Coffee ... two and a coo please. You'll figure that out LOL! 

Hmmm ... still working on that one.  Get back to your cider, Jamie and pass the shortbread 'cos you're hogging it.

You can follow Jamie on Twitter, Facebook or at his Blog.

His latest release 'Offside!' can be found, along with his other books, on Amazon.

FUNKY FRIDAY with reviewer Donna Trinder

Today I welcome to my sofa for coffee, cake, chocolates and wine (yes, we like them all!) one of my oldest Twitter buddies and a very supportive reader of my books, Donna Trinder.  I've been secretly jealous of Donna for a LONG time - she has her own reading and writing shed - she is one lucky lady!

So Donna, as an avid reader and reviewer, I know you are currently working on your first novel.  Can you tell us a bit about it and how it's going?

I love writing - I love it so much I have two different manuscripts on the go. One I have changed so much it is on its third incarnation, that started out as a YA, now I’m not sure it needs a label (because I’m not sure what that label would be any longer!) but it’s about a group of people, ‘watchers’, protectors of an old sector of witches. That WIP is my baby, my true love, but I’ve complicated it so much I’ve basically written everyone into tight corners and I think another overhaul is needed. That’s when I get bogged down and pick up my chick-lit WIP. All about a posh ex-boarding school girl out for revenge on the tormentors that made her life miserable and learns a lot about her life on the way. I feel that one will be finished way before the first!

I have to say, as the creator of Mummy Misfit, I love the sound of the posh girl chicklit!  Can you tell us how you sweeten the pill if you hate a book that you are reviewing?

Gah - that’s the worst! I give it as long as I possibly can, sometimes that will mean finishing it (to see if it gets better, and sometimes it can pay off!) and sometimes it means the second or third chapter and I can realise it really is not for me.

If I have to admit defeat I would always contact the author/PR and just explain that I can’t go any further, but be polite and just explain *kindly* why. It normally falls down to either far too much bad language/content or the genre.

How do you think you'll cope IF you get a bad review for your debut novel - sulker or shrugger?

I’m very conscious that some reviewers on Amazon clearly don’t know what they’re doing! I’ve read awful 1* reviews that stated delivery was slow, or the book wasn’t their genre (why buy it???), so those kind of reviews would undoubtedly irk me but it would be water off a duck’s back - but real readers that disliked it, well, I think I would be devastated! I don’t think I’d sulk but I’m sure I would feel quite crestfallen! As long as there was enough good to outweigh the bad I’m sure I’d cope!

Dream time. Ultimate dinner party? You can have anyone dead or alive there - who would you have and why?

This is a subject my husband and I often talk about, mainly on long journeys - it passes the time!

Right, firstly it would have to be David Beckham. As well as being incomprehensibly gorgeous, I think he would just be a kind and interesting person to talk to. I’d have to make sure there were adequate napkins to contain the drool. There would be no plus one extended there...

Sarah Millican would be a definite! She makes me laugh like no other and I also think she’s a really lovely person. We could watch cute cat videos on YouTube and probably talk about cake.

JK Rowling. I need to interrogate her on why, oh why, did she have to kill Sirius Black. Also, Remus and Tonks ... they didn’t need to die. That was a travesty.

My old English teacher and Senior Girls Mistress back in the days of my grammar school life, Mrs Valerie Dobbs. The woman was a legend in the true sense of the word, anyone who went to my school throughout The Dobbs Years has some kind of story to tell about her, not all of them positive, but still ... I read that she had passed away last year and I felt so upset. She helped me through an extremely difficult time when I lost my father at thirteen and she really was the most inspirational and knowledgeable woman I could imagine. I’d love to see her now and have to opportunity for her to look over my work!

I think lastly I would have to invite The Great British Bake Off team of Hollywood and Berry (under no circumstances must Mel and Sue tag along - they annoy me immensely). My husband, who of course needs no invitation, would love to chat to Paul Hollywood - also Mary Berry I would imagine - and I think myself and Millican would also be keen to talk cake and baked goods with them.

Killing two birds with one stone it would also be pudding sorted!

Big Brother have invited you on their new show (humour me, it involves books, readers, writers etc) Would you accept?

My gut instinct was unequivocally NO. But thinking about it, if it was just sitting round reading and writing with my favourite authors and other readers it might not be so terrible. If all the tasks were writing and book related and there was unlimited food. And cake, lots and lots of cake. Also probably family visits and wi-fi. Although I think I might be mistaking the Big Brother house for a writing retreat?

You almost made Big Brother sound like somewhere I'd like to go!  OK, if someone offered you big money to write their plot for them, could you do it?

Integrity aside, I honestly don’t know. My purse is feeling abused and delicate today as after the very expensive school uniform shop was completed (or so I thought) Junior decided to ambush me for more football boots, shin pads and all manner of different sports accessories. So on days like today, and if the price was right, I might possibly just say yes. After all, principles don’t keep the roof over your head and your children in school!

No, Donna they don't - and don't I know it?!

QUICK FIRE ROUND

Planner or Winger?

Without doubt, Winger.

Night or Morning?

Morning.

Doer or procrastinator?

Procrastinator. I’m world class.

Writing/first draft or editing?

Editing. Love it.

Tea or coffee?

Coffee.

Thanks for joining me, Donna.  It's been great to chat ... and eat ... and drink.  So glad that your husband made all those yummy cakes for us.

You can find out more about Donna by reading her blog or viewing her Facebook / Twitter pages

* * * NEWSFLASH * * *

My latest full length novel 'TABBY & KAT'  is doing well sales-wise and I'd like to thank you all for your support.  Please don't forget to leave reviews on Amazon if you've enjoyed it.  Tonight I'll be wetting my new baby's head.  I raise my glass to you all - I couldn't do it without you.

Last week I had a sexy footballer on my sofa - check out the interview with Shane Henderson from Jamie Dougan's 'Offside!' here.

My FIRST EVER Twitter/Indie buddy celebrated joining Harper Impulse and I am SO proud of her.  You can buy her Christmas novella here.

I hope to write a Christmas blog post before the big day but time is running away with me.  In case I don't have a chance, I wish you all a peaceful and happy festive break and hope the fat guy brings you all you wish for.

On the Sofa with Shane Henderson

On my sofa today is footballer Shane Henderson. Shane has just recently returned to his boyhood heroes, Milton Keynes Rangers after a few years away, playing with local rivals Daventry United.  You can read his story in Jamie Tucker Dougan's novella 'Offside!'

So, Shane, your friendship with Mia, your new boss, is very close. Have you ever considered taking it to another level and do you think she has? 

[*Turns red and shuffles on the nervously on the sofa*] I better watch what I’m saying here… Yes, I have… and I know she has too. But our lives took different paths and other than that one special time we shared, we’ve been happy being very close friends.

April is clearly a good looking lady - if she was an animal, what would she be? What would you be?

She would be a fox, sexy but equally sneaky. I guess I would be a dog. A good friend and mostly loyal.

What would a favourite night out be for you and April?

Well that's a bit hard to answer. We have different ideas of a good night out. April likes the party atmosphere and being the centre of attention in a crowd, so nightclubbing would be her favourite night out. I tend to shun the spotlight and media attention that follows Premiership footballers. A quiet night away at a country hotel and a nice meal suits me more.

You grew up very close to Mia's family - do you think that would have been the case if you'd been closer to your own?

The Rodrigues family are a lovely family. I think they’d welcome anyone. But I was like the son they never had I think. If I’d been closer to my own family, then things might have been different. I don’t think the age gap between Lewis and I helped the relationship we had. But we’re making up for that now.

When you hang your footballer's boots up, what will we see Shane doing next?

I think I’ll definitely stay in the world of football. Maybe management, I quite fancy being the Boss of MKR one day.

Would you appear in 'Big Brother' or 'I'm a Celebrity'? 

Definitely not ‘Big Brother’, I couldn’t cope being penned in with a load of attention seeking divas. I get enough of that with April!
I’d love to do ‘I’m a Celebrity’. Creepy crawlies don’t bother me and I’d be up for any Bush Tucker Trial.

Is it hard to abstain from fleshly delights before a match and have you ever ignored the rules and regretted it? Does it really make a difference? 

Ah, are you asking if I’ve broken the pre-match sex ban that some managers impose? Well, that would be yes. All I’ll say is that if you’re fit enough, then it makes no difference.

Talking of fit, what are your thoughts on David Beckham and would you like the fame and fortune that football has brought him or are you just in it for the love? 

David Beckham is a great ambassador for the game and for sport in general. He’s good role model for youngster starting out in the game too. As for his fame and fortune, well I’ll pass on the fame. I play football for the love of the game, nothing else. The fortune, well I’m a Premiership footballer. I have all the fortune I’ll ever need.

Thanks for joining me Shane - an afternoon on the sofa with a sexy footballer was just what the doctor ordered.

You can follow Shane's creator on Twitter @JamieTDougan
Read his blog here and buy his other books here

FUNKY FRIDAY - with author Kathryn O'Halloran

Friday's don't get much funkier than this as I chat to an author who has turned her hands to many things.  Read on ... and learn!

 

So, Kathryn, you've had some interesting jobs aside from writing - phone psychic and community television star, to name a few!  (please explain)  Would you ever incorporate these into a book?

I hadn't before but I am now! The phone psychic job was actually really depressing.  I thought it'd be a hoot but about 90% of the calls were "I'm in love with a married man.  Will he leave his wife for me?"  You don't need to be a psychic to answer that.  I'm sure it could be worked into a much more fun scenario than that.

As you tend to write the raunchier side of things, what happens when you have a 'headache'?!

I think about food! Like a chewy, fruit macaroon with creamy filling ... you get the idea.  Then take all those emotions and put them into sex. Other than that, I guess it's like anything.  How do you write an action scene when you can't be bothered getting off the couch?

What's the worst thing about writing for you?

The marketing side.  I wish someone would do that for me.  Someone who doesn't charge a fortune.  I don't even want them to do it for me, to be honest.  I'd be happy if they told me what to do.  Or people could just buy my books and I wouldn't need to do anything.

Dream time.  Ultimate dinner party?  You can have anyone dead or alive there - who would you have and why?

I'd probably have to get some celebrity chef in so they could do all the cooking instead of me.  That way everyone would make it out alive and I could relax and drink wine.

Jensen Ackles because he's so pretty!

Helena Bonham Carter because she's awesome.

And maybe someone who knows the secrets of Amazon's algorithms so I can ply them with alcohol and find out all the secrets!

Now, I'm definitely with you on that!

Could you ditch the saucy stuff and write slushy romance for the right price?

Hells yeah! For the right price I'd write just about anything.  Except maybe lactation porn.

Oooh, felt just a little bit sick there!  You need to distract me and describe yourself as a writer in five words.

Sassy, whimsical, risque, evocative, redolent.

QUICK FIRE ROUND

Planner or Winger?

Planner

Night or Morning?

Night

Doer or procrastinator?

Procrastinator

Writing/first draft or editing?

First draft.

Tea or coffee?

Coffee

Kathryn’s book 'The Bad Girls' Club' is available on Amazon / (Amazon UK) and Goodreads.  You can also visit her Facebook page, blog or follow her on Twitter.

Thank you for joining me Kathryn - it was fun.  Aside from the lactating!

* * * NEWSFLASH * * *

Before I get to book-related stuff, I’d like to introduce you to a lovely lady I met on Twitter last night (@maggiewatts).  She’s on a mission - with a subject very dear to my heart.  Pancreatic cancer still continues to be the silent, speedy killer and very little time or money goes into research.  PLEASE read her story and sign the government petition here. Go on - do your bit, and make the Misfit happy!

My twitter buddy, Jamie Dougan (who likes to party in my virtual kitchen with his cider!) is releasing his latest novella, this weekend.  'Offside!' is a footballing romance with a bit of steam. You can buy it here, for just 77p. At that price, what have you got to lose?!

My December novel is ready to go for the 12th and has a yummy looking cover - watch this space ...

Indie Chat with Jamie Dougan

Today, I'm delighted to welcome Twitter friend and fellow Indie, Jamie Tucker Dougan.

Jamie will be doing a free promo of his Kindle book 'Grande Plage' from today till 14th July.  Grab a copy here while you can.  You can also follow his blog here - yes I do feature (!) or contact him on Twitter @JamieTDougan

I downloaded 'Grande Plage' earlier this week and would thoroughly recommend it as a coffee break read.  It's a sweet romance from a male's perspective - which I found refreshing.  Set in France, I felt as if I were there and it brought back some vivid teenage memories for me.

From his reviews:

'It's very sensual, and being written by a man you'd expect it to be all about the sex. However, it is not. It's very romantic in parts and has a happy, heartwarming ending.'

'Short story about a young footballer who falls head over heels for a French girl but has to leave her behind. Good story to read when you are travelling or have a few minutes to spare with a coffee.' 

So I welcome Jamie to the blog as we settle with a Pernod and ice (what else?) and pose some questions to him:


You've decided to do a free promo of 'Grande Plage' to recognise your wife's 40th birthday, which I think is a very romantic gesture.  As you write stories and novels on the steamier side of love, would you call yourself a romantic at heart?

Very much so. A few movies from the 80's have influenced my writing. Movies like 'St.Elmo's Fire' and 'Some Kind of Wonderful'. I like the 'happy ever after'.

If money were no object, how would you treat your wife on her birthday?

First thing I would get her is a new computer. Her current desktop is well past its best. She needs a decent computer for her little card-making business. I'd also buy her a new car and take her on a holiday to the destination of her choice. Which would be Disneyland Florida. A holiday for the kids ... and the big kids.

You're hosting an evening for five celebs - who would they be and why?  You must include one who you would invite just so that you could hit them with a frozen lettuce as I know this is one of your favourite sports!

Well Katie Hopkins would be first on the list to be bombarded with the freshly frozen lettuce by the other guests as they arrive. I'd just whack her a few times in passing. My second guest would be my childhood hero, football legend Kenny Dalglish. As well as telling me many stories from his footballing career, he'd make me laugh too because his one-line sarcasm is brilliant. Next would be French singer Alizee. She would provide musical entertainment and talk French to me (ahem). I'd invite actress Alyssa Milano too, just to help with being the visual muse for one of the characters in my current WIP.  And finally I'd have Prince Charles because I think he'd be an interesting guy to talk to.

What's your ultimate goal as a writer?  Do you dream of a publishing deal or are you happy to remain an Indie?

I'm happy being an Indie. It was never my intention to become a published writer. Writing for me has always been a hobby. A way of living the virtual world I sometimes escape reality to. But an old friend suggested I publish 'Grande Plage' (on more than one occasion I may add). Now, my hobby is seen by others. 

This question was once put to me and I had to find a tricky way around it - I'd be interested to know your take on it.  You are offered a huge amount of money (squillions of millions!) but, by accepting it, you're never allowed to physically write another word.  Would you take it?

Money is a necessary evil to me but it causes more problems than it does good. I'd be a far happier person if there was no money at all. The more some people have, the more they want and that's just pure unnecessary greed. Personally, I think we should better ourselves through knowledge rather than financial gain. So the answer would be no thanks!

Tell us your most embarrassing story - one that haunts you to this day?

It doesn't haunt me much but it was bloody embarrassing at the time. Let's just say it involved a country road lay-by ... steamy windows ... and a police car stopping to ask if we were okay.

QUICK FIRE ROUND

Pudding or cheese? - Pudding, preferably containing chocolate

Suit or jeans? - Jeans... I wear a shirt and tie for a living, so I don't when not working

Night in or out? - Night in

Dancer or watcher? - Watcher

Kylie or Dannii? - Kylie

Indian or Chinese? - Damn... can I have both? Okay, Chinese!

Home or away? - Home

Twitter or Facebook? - Twitter

Music or TV? - Music

Huge thanks to Jamie for joining me on the blog today - come on guys, give his wife the best 40th ever and download a FREE sensual story now.  Happy Birthday Mrs Dougan - what a lovely hubbie you have!

PS:  The frozen wet lettuce is a standing joke.  Tell us in the comments below, who you'd like to wallop over the head with one.  Go on!  You know you want to!

You can buy Jamie's other short stories here.

The Outlook's Sunny!

It’s been a good week in the Misfit house - and I mean a really good week.

I wouldn’t say it’s been a lazy one, because I don’t ‘do’ lazy, but it has been a little more laid back than usual and it’s given me time to come to terms with decisions I’ve made and let them gel.

My December release is flying along but my next big job is to get started on the editing of my Christmas novella which will be out in October - never a dull moment here.

So what else did my week bring?  Aside from seeing my son leave his much-loved school, we had SUNSHINE!  Don’t you just love it?  Unlike the yummy mummies who holiday (at least) thrice yearly, I haven’t set foot out of this country for 15 years so when the sun comes to me I jump for joy - OK, with the temperatures we've been having in London, it’s a bit of a lethargic jump, but I still do it.

Of course I dream of heading off to sunnier, more exotic climes but every penny I earn goes to our mortgage and I also need to be here to care for my mother so that’s not possible right now.

But as a writer, I’m lucky enough to be able to set up the office in the garden and enjoy the concept of a holiday while still working - it would be rude not to, wouldn’t it?  There aren’t many jobs that allow you to do that!  And apologies if I’ve made any of you green with envy.

With the arrival of the glorious weather, we entertained some close friends with a meal in the garden on Saturday night and took part in music wars with some neighbours who were having a family barbeque a few doors down - their reggae trounced our Dean Martin hands down but we accepted defeat graciously and had a giggle with them about it the next day.  The evil mozzies also had to back down from battle as I’d managed to find a very effective insect repellent and, although we all stunk and could well have gone up in a puff of smoke with one ignition of a lighter, we all remained bite-free.

I also featured on two blogs.  Here and here. And my friend Jamie Dougan moved his blog to a new web location so if you haven’t caught up on the piece I did on ‘My Writing Essentials’ check it out here.  He’s also doing a free promo of his short story ‘Grande Plage’ from Thursday and I'll be interviewing him here at the end of the week.

But the BEST thing this week has been my book sales.  Good grief!  If I could have more weeks like that, I would be one happy Misfit Bunny.  Paperback sales at Lulu have been great and I’ve also been hovering around the two to three thousand chart rating on Amazon (which, when you consider that there are over two million Kindle books in the UK Amazon store, isn’t too shabby a position for an Indie). Then on Sunday I was over the moon to see that I was at #4 in paid Chicklit (released in the last 30 days with 5* reviews)  How cool is that?

Apart from that, the teen is applying for jobs and not hearing back from anyone - probably something to do with his hair colour (!) and I bought a pair of size 12 jeans (not bad for a fatty!)

AMENDED on 10th July - the week just keeps getting better.  Sales have gone mad and we also received a letter telling us that our son has been given an award at school.  We'll attend the drinks reception and ceremony on 17th September.  We're such proud commoners parents! 

2nd amendment - added 7.50pm on 10th July!  I have also been quoted on the Daily Mail webpage, ranting about the vile Ms. Hopkins!

So … life’s good.  Who needs fancy holidays when you have a laptop in the sunshine?  Putney suits me just fine.  Oh, and the cats quite like it too.

 Check out my books here - everyone needs a light read in the sun. All under £2!