Pirating is Theft - end of.

Dear Travis McCrea of Ebook Bike

It’s not often that I blog now as there never seem to be enough hours in the day when you earn an honest living but this particular post needs to get out my system before I self-combust.

Working as an Indie writer is an incredibly tough job and, in the past, was a worthwhile career.  The way that Amazon has changed how they pay us has made it increasingly difficult to earn a living and so I really don't need any spanners in the works.

So, with a constant battle on my hands to get my books seen, talked about, sold and reviewed, imagine my fury when it came to light that you are stealing my work and giving it away for free.  Your opening line on your FAQ page is:

Imagine a world where authors can make money by giving digital versions of their books away to their reader.

This makes NO SENSE TO ME!  HOW?!  How can the theft of my books be making me any money?  Do you have a stash of cash owing to me?  I don’t think so somehow.  I’ve asked you this many times on Twitter and you choose not to answer.  I wonder why.

The truth of the matter is, every book you give away is taking hard earned cash from my hands.  So all the years, months, weeks and hours of blood sweat and tears that I pour into my work are given away, without my permission, for nothing.

And how do you justify this?  Oh, it gets better and better!  You set yourself up as a Reverend of:

Missionary Church of Kopimism

The followers of the religion are called Kopimists from copy me. A "Kopimist" or "Kopimist intellectual" is a person who has the philosophical belief that all information should be freely distributed and unrestricted. This philosophy opposes the monopolization of knowledge in all its forms, such as copyright, and encourages file sharing of all types of media including music, movies, TV shows, and software.

So you are somehow trying to justify your act of theft.  Unbelievable!

It doesn’t end there though.  Your girlfriend @malkarii_ is a charity fundraiser for St Jude’s Hospital, Memphis.  No, no, no!  Sorry, but this doesn’t sit well with me.  You @travisvancouver boast about the plane that you’ve bought and the yacht trips that you’ve taken with MY money - because your ‘religion’ doesn’t believe in copyrighting and you’re under the misguided impression that it’s your right to share my work for your gain.  You can’t expect us to believe that your girlfriend doesn’t enjoy that illegal lifestyle to some extent.

I too raise funds for charity and I know that my reputation needs to be whiter than white.  I’ve watched her video on Twitch and I feel for her but she openly admits that what you are doing is ‘shady’ and has asked you to take the website down.  Any connection with you and your dodgy deals will not show @malkarii_ in a good light - she needs to be rethinking her life choices and who she keeps company with if you continue to ignore her requests and she wants to maintain her credibility and integrity.

And you need to own up to the fact that you are a thief and a liar.  On your interview with BBC Radio, you claimed that Ebook Bike was set up with and for writers.  I’d like just ONE writer to come forward and agree with this statement.  Who are these writers who helped to set it up and how do they gain financially from it?  The only writers I’ve heard voice an opinion, are those who are being ripped-off.

I thought long and hard before writing this.  There are two trains of thought.  Some authors are keeping quiet as they don’t want to give you oxygen to grow, others are livid and doing everything they can to bring you down.  Indies are the ones who are particularly disgruntled as we don’t get an advance to keep us going - but what the traditionally published authors need to realise is that, if their books continue to be given away without their permission, their publishers will see a fall in sales and may not re-sign them.  It affects us all.  I won’t be silenced, especially when I read that a sixth of ebooks that were downloaded in 2017 were pirated because of the likes of you.  Why should I keep quiet?  If you crept into my house while I was sleeping and stole all of my worldly goods I wouldn’t let you get away with it - this theft is no different.

I don’t have a plane or fancy yacht trips around the English Bay of Vancouver and you know why?  Because I’m helping to pay for you to enjoy those privileges.

Shame on you.  Enjoy the publicity while you can but I don’t think it will last for long.  Time to get your thinking cap on and come up with a new scam.

May you get your just desserts in heaven Reverend McCrea.

PS: To those authors and publishers who choose to keep quiet, I respect your opinion but I’m choosing to speak out for the underdog.  I don’t believe that by writing this I will encourage more people to pirate books - honest people don’t - but I do feel that it needs to be talked about.  This isn’t just affecting Indies.  It’s affecting traditionally published authors and will go on to affect the publishing world, just as it did with pirated music, unless people make a noise.  I don’t believe that this is a time for anyone to sit on their laurels, hope that it will go away and leave other people to do the dirty work and deal with it on their behalf.

Mummy Misfit Entertains

Regular followers of mine will know that I've been toying with the idea of a Mummy Misfit spin-off and, thanks to your hugely positive responses, I've decided to go ahead with 'Mummy Misfit Entertains' - parties for paupers.

Remember the Pippa Middleton book 'Celebrate' that hit the shelves last year and bombed?  Well it won't be like that!  Partly because I won't be fortunate enough to be lured by a £400,000 advance (oh, just let me dream for a moment!) but also because it won't filled with useless drivel about entertaining that, for the ordinary person on the street living through a recession and counting the pennies, isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Is it any wonder the book was a flop and the deal ended when Pippa decided to educate the masses with these words of wisdom?

• 'Because of their size, turkeys are perfect for feeding larger gatherings'
As my dear friend Fenella would say, 'No sh*t, Sherlock!'
So what do you think, Pippa?  Should we maybe have one at Christmas?  Oh, where would we be without you!

• 'For parties, wrap a small gift. Sit everyone in a circle and ask them to pass the parcel ...' 
Is there a name for this hugely original game? And would it be good to play with small children maybe?

• 'Store cupboards, drawers or boxes should be packed full of useful odds and ends.'
Ah, so that's what all the c*ap is!  It's good to know that the upper classes have drawers of string, fug, cracker innards and broken combs too.

From what I know of this book, I'm surprised she didn't include a few helpful tips along the lines of:

Remember to stock up on toilet tissue.  No one likes to resort to using The Tatler in an emergency - it leaves nasty print all over your 'oh so pert' little bottom.

If you run out of champers, be prepared to accept that no one will ever set foot in your house again.

Although the recipe for ice is very simple, the time it takes to set is rather lengthy. Far quicker to 'order in' (see back of book for recipe if you prefer homemade)

For decorations, pretty balloons and party fripperies simply nip to Mummy and Daddy's shop and help yourself.

I'm so sorry if I sound like I'm bitching.  But I am!  This book deal made me (and many other writers) cross.  Penguin only took a chance on her because of who she was related to.  Thankfully, their greed backfired.  Try taking a chance on some little nobodies, us Indies who slog our guts out day in and day out.  What would be so wrong with that?

So, that brings me to my book which won't be losing anyone any money.  I've been entertaining for years - on a budget.  Sometimes the budget has been bigger than others but it's certainly never been massive and I've always received compliments from my guests.

As Fenella always tells me, 'You have a talent for giving good table, good candle and good feeling.'

So watch this space as I begin work on 'Mummy Misfit Entertains'.  Unless I get offered a juicy advance from a canny publisher who's checked out my rather stonkering Amazon rankings, it won't be filled with glossy photos - just handy, practical and fun tips, recipes, themes and games.

Oh ... and it also won't include the recipe for ice either.  You'll have to Google that one for yourselves.

FUNKY FRIDAY - with author Mandy Baggot

Today I welcome one of the queens of chicklit as we chat in our chicken suits.  Yes, really.  More of that later.  Welcome ... Mandy Baggot.

So, Mandy, what are the best and the worst things about writing for you?

The best thing is when you get lovely readers emailing and messaging you telling you how much they loved your story. We love creating our worlds and characters but it’s no good if the readers don’t like them!

The worst thing is not having enough hours in the day to get everything done a writer needs to, as well as spending time with the family and keeping the house tidy. I usually don’t bother with the house!

I'm so with you on that!  OK, you've been invited on Big Brother - Writers Special! Do you accept?

Absolutely!! There isn’t much I wouldn’t do in the name of publicity! You’re speaking to the lady who dressed up in a chicken suit in the name of promo!

… and here's the proof!

You're going on a chat show to discuss your books! Whose is it and why?

Graham Norton! I actually said this in a talk at the Romantic Novelists’ Association conference. We had to write a short newspaper ad - like a Lonely Hearts column - searching for a publisher. I wrote ‘Award-winning author seeks publisher to get her on Graham Norton. Must join in tweets about food.’ I think his show is fun and I might get the chance to sit next to someone like Bruce Willis!

I have to say that my first choice would be Alan Carr - so much so that I blogged about my imaginary interview here!  Right, moving on.  If you were offered a squillion pounds to never write again would you take it?

No. Actually that depends. If I was given a squillion pounds and warned if I wrote again I would get kidnapped and tortured I wouldn’t take it. If there were no threats I would take it ... and write under another name! It’s hard to stop a writer writing!

It's your dream week as a writer - anything's possible! Tell us about it.

No husband. No children. Just me, my latest WIP, a cupboard full of instant mash and a fridge full of wine ... I’m easily pleased!

Oooh, instant mash!  Really?  

QUICK FIRE ROUND

Planner or Winger?

Winger ... I know no other way!

Night or Morning?

Morning

Doer or procrastinator?

Doer

Writing/first draft or editing?

Writing ... does anyone like editing?

Tea or coffee?

Tea!

You can buy Mandy's latest release on Amazon here. The book I can highly recommend is 'Knowing me Knowing You.'  Oh, it made me chuckle!

And here are her other links:

www.mandybaggot.com

@mandybaggot

Facebook

Harper Impulse

Loveahappyending Bookshelf

Sapphire Star Publishing

Thanks, Mandy.  It was great to chat.  Can I take the chicken suit off now?

***** NEWSFLASH *****

My own latest book 'Tabby & Kat' is all ready to go and release date is next Thursday 12th December on Amazon for Kindle and in paperback at Lulu.  You can see my yummy cover and read the first chapter here.

My Twitter buddy Jamie Dougan has released his novella, 'Offside!' you can download your copy here for just 77p and I'll be featuring an interview with the lead character Shane within the next week.

FUNKY FRIDAY - with author Kathryn O'Halloran

Friday's don't get much funkier than this as I chat to an author who has turned her hands to many things.  Read on ... and learn!

 

So, Kathryn, you've had some interesting jobs aside from writing - phone psychic and community television star, to name a few!  (please explain)  Would you ever incorporate these into a book?

I hadn't before but I am now! The phone psychic job was actually really depressing.  I thought it'd be a hoot but about 90% of the calls were "I'm in love with a married man.  Will he leave his wife for me?"  You don't need to be a psychic to answer that.  I'm sure it could be worked into a much more fun scenario than that.

As you tend to write the raunchier side of things, what happens when you have a 'headache'?!

I think about food! Like a chewy, fruit macaroon with creamy filling ... you get the idea.  Then take all those emotions and put them into sex. Other than that, I guess it's like anything.  How do you write an action scene when you can't be bothered getting off the couch?

What's the worst thing about writing for you?

The marketing side.  I wish someone would do that for me.  Someone who doesn't charge a fortune.  I don't even want them to do it for me, to be honest.  I'd be happy if they told me what to do.  Or people could just buy my books and I wouldn't need to do anything.

Dream time.  Ultimate dinner party?  You can have anyone dead or alive there - who would you have and why?

I'd probably have to get some celebrity chef in so they could do all the cooking instead of me.  That way everyone would make it out alive and I could relax and drink wine.

Jensen Ackles because he's so pretty!

Helena Bonham Carter because she's awesome.

And maybe someone who knows the secrets of Amazon's algorithms so I can ply them with alcohol and find out all the secrets!

Now, I'm definitely with you on that!

Could you ditch the saucy stuff and write slushy romance for the right price?

Hells yeah! For the right price I'd write just about anything.  Except maybe lactation porn.

Oooh, felt just a little bit sick there!  You need to distract me and describe yourself as a writer in five words.

Sassy, whimsical, risque, evocative, redolent.

QUICK FIRE ROUND

Planner or Winger?

Planner

Night or Morning?

Night

Doer or procrastinator?

Procrastinator

Writing/first draft or editing?

First draft.

Tea or coffee?

Coffee

Kathryn’s book 'The Bad Girls' Club' is available on Amazon / (Amazon UK) and Goodreads.  You can also visit her Facebook page, blog or follow her on Twitter.

Thank you for joining me Kathryn - it was fun.  Aside from the lactating!

* * * NEWSFLASH * * *

Before I get to book-related stuff, I’d like to introduce you to a lovely lady I met on Twitter last night (@maggiewatts).  She’s on a mission - with a subject very dear to my heart.  Pancreatic cancer still continues to be the silent, speedy killer and very little time or money goes into research.  PLEASE read her story and sign the government petition here. Go on - do your bit, and make the Misfit happy!

My twitter buddy, Jamie Dougan (who likes to party in my virtual kitchen with his cider!) is releasing his latest novella, this weekend.  'Offside!' is a footballing romance with a bit of steam. You can buy it here, for just 77p. At that price, what have you got to lose?!

My December novel is ready to go for the 12th and has a yummy looking cover - watch this space ...

FUNKY FRIDAY - with author Kimberly Menozzi

This week we welcome to the stage Kimberly Menozzi.  We settled with a cool Italian cocktail and had a chat. 

Kimberly, can you describe yourself as a writer in five words. 

Heartfelt, detailed, wordy, realistically romantic. 

As a writer of affairs of the heart, what do you do to motivate yourself on a day you're just not feeling it? 

If I'm really struggling, I'll set the scene aside and come back to it later. If at all possible, I'll sit and listen to music – often the music which inspired the scene in the first place – and that will get me through it. If there's just no hope at all, I might even take a full-on break from writing for the day. Unless I'm on a deadline, of course. When I have a deadline, I power through the scene and fix it ASAP. 

Tell us about your ideal writing day. 

I wake up after a fully refreshing sleep to find the day is cool and a little cloudy. I have my breakfast and after a short period checking my email, I ride my exercise bike (or go for a ride outside), shower, dress, prepare the ingredients for dinner in the slow cooker, and then sit down to write. I work for roughly six to eight hours, with only short pauses for lunch and/or to give the cat some attention. Ideally, I continue writing until the hubby calls to say he's on his way home from work. I finish up the scene I'm working on and conclude it, wrapping up as the hubby arrives home. On days like this, I can get through an entire chapter and work out the bones for the next one, too.

Unfortunately, those days don't happen very often. 

Dream time.  Ultimate dinner party? You can have anyone dead or alive there - who would you have and why? 

To be honest, I'm crap at dinner parties. At best, I'd like an evening hanging out having snacks with Stephen King and John Irving. I bet they have great stories to share. 

If you were offered a squillion pounds to never write again, would you take it? 

If that meant never publishing again, maybe. I could never stop writing, though. The only periods in my life when I didn't write were miserable. I couldn't do that again. 

What's your ultimate writing goal? 

I would love to be able to simply make a living with my writing. By which I mean earning enough money to stand on my own two feet financially with the income from book sales. I'd also like to be respected as a writer, which isn't easy as an Indie. 

I couldn't agree more, Kimberly - but we keep on keeping on, don't we? 

QUICK FIRE ROUND

Planner or Winger? 
Mostly, I'm a winger. 

Night or Morning? 
Night. 

Doer or procrastinator? 
Procrastinator. 

Writing/first draft or editing? 
Writing. 

Tea or coffee? 
Tea.

You can follow Kimberly on Twitter (@KMenozzi), Facebook or on her Blog.

Her books can be found on Amazon / (Amazon UK), Barnes & Noble, kobo and Apple.

Thank you for joining me Kimberly - it was great to chat and I wish you well in the future.

NEWSFLASH

My full length novel has been edited and is now with my test readers - release date is looking to be on 12th December and I can't wait to reveal the cover and 1st chapter - watch this space.

My fellow Indie and good friend, Michelle Betham won a competition run by Harper Impulse and I am so, so proud of her.  You can currently buy her books here. 

The sequel to 'Trouble at Toff Towers' by Anne Ullah has been released - if it's as funny as the first, I can't wait to have time to read it. Buy it here.

FUNKY FRIDAY with Carol Wright from Dizzy C's Little Book Blog

Happy FUNKY FRIDAY to you all - today I'm delighted to welcome an avid reader, reviewer and huge supporter of writers, Carol Wright:

We settled with coffee and a huge cake and had a chat.

Carol, what made you decide to start a book review blog? 

I was looking for book suggestions to read and came across a book blog. I didn't even know what a blog was until that moment. I started following a few and decided I too wanted to share my love of books with others. So began the "little" book blog.  I thought it would just be reviews and a bit of family news.

What type of book keeps you turning the pages and up all night? 

Funny novels, like your novels Amanda, (ooh, I didn't even pay her to say that!) and well researched and written historical fiction/romance.  I like a book that homes in on my kind of humour and can make me laugh out loud.  I also like a book that can transport me back in time and teach me more about history.

As an avid reader and reviewer, would you ever put pen to paper yourself? 

I would love to write my own novel. Historical romance or chicklit.  I am a big history fan and would love to spend days, weeks, months researching for an historical novel.  I have ideas for stories.  My chicklit would be chicklit 40+, but if I draw on my own experiences it may be too much like those true life weepies LOL!

What type of books make you want to chuck them at the wall? 

Celebrity books of any kind, autobiographies, biographies, ghost written novels.

I couldn't agree more - I'm sick to the teeth of every Tom, Dick and Harry 'writing' a book and nailing a publishing deal just because of who they are.  Where do they end up?  In the bargain bucket, where they belong!  Bitter?  Me?  Yep!

So how do you tactfully say you hated a book?  Or do you say it as it is? 

If I don't like a book, I won't review it online anywhere. I don't believe in picking holes in an author's work. It may appeal to other folks. If it was a book sent to me for review I will let the author or publisher know why I didn't personally like it.

That's the sort of reviewer us writers love!  Our books are our babies, try to treat us and them kindly - and as you say, it may not be the book for you but plenty of others may love it.

It's been great to have a reader/reviewer on the blog today - check Carol out on Twitter @DizzyCLBB and on her FaceBook page.  Why not also check out her blog and take a look at the books she's read and what she thinks of them?

Next week I welcome my good friend and fellow Indie MICHELLE BETHAM and we have quite a giggle together as we nip off to fantasy land! 

***** NEWSFLASH ***** 

I'm about to start on the joint edit of my Christmas novella which is due for release at the end of October.  I'm also completing re-writes for my next full length novel which will hit the virtual shelves mid-December. 

MICHELLE BETHAM is on her final read-through of 'Extra Time', the sequel to 'Striker', and it should be available to download any time soon.

GILLI ALLAN has released her latest novel 'FLY OR FALL': “Will the allure of the unknown ever overcome the fear of stepping away from solid ground?”  Now on Kindle at Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com.  Check out her author page to find out more about her other books.  Gilli will be chatting with me here at FUNKY FRIDAY 28th March.

Another Book on the Shelf

With the release date for 'Lottie's Luck' looming (June 19th) I'm now very proud to see five novels and a novella on my bookshelf.  I wrote those and people buy them!  How weird is that?

I'm often asked how I managed to produce so many books in such a short time.  Well, of course the truth is I didn't.  'Diary of a Mummy Misfit' was released in June 2011 but it was actually completed four years prior to that and was sitting in a drawer having a sulk.  Likewise, 'The Darker Side of Mummy Misfit',  which was released in December the same year, was already half written on the instructions of my then agent.

My other novels have come to life through pure hard graft - the only way to get from Chapter One to The End.  My bum goes on my seat at about 8.30am and most days stays there until about 4pm.  Yes, there's lots of dipping in and out of Twitter but that's one of the tools I use to sell my books and I need to have some sort of a life outside of my characters or I'd be a madder woman than I already am!

When I'm not writing, I'm thinking about writing.  I believe writers work 24 hours a day - ideas will strike when you least expect them.  A writer's brain is their main tool and, sadly, we can't switch them off along with the PC.  Some of my best ideas come to me just as I'm going off to sleep and I will often find that a problem will be solved overnight.  Likewise, I can wake with the clarity of knowing I've done something wrong and need to do a re-write.

So who would have thought that all those years ago, when my agent told me I would need a 'stable of books to be a viable published author', that I would now be looking at a shelf of six of them with another Christmas novella due in October and a full length novel in December?

And I will keep on keeping on!  As long as I have stories to tell, readers who love them and the need to keep writing, why would I stop or slow down?  Maybe one day an agent or publisher will see that I'm not just a one book wonder and decide to take a chance on me, but my days of seeking them out are over.  I need to use that time for writing.

Remember all of my books can be found here - check out my 5* reviews!  And if you'd like to try 'Lottie's Luck' for FREE, leave me a message here or RT one of my tweets (mummy_misfit) and you can go in the draw for a chance to win a Kindle copy on publication day, June 19th.

Now, back to that chapter I need to finish ...

The A-Z of an Indie Writer

This week I’m looking at the A-Z of my life as an INDIE. This list will differ from writer to writer but I’d bet my last pound that some of them will always be the same.

See what you think:

A is for APATHY.  Yes, there will always be those moments or sometimes days when I just have to push, push, push to get to my target.  But I always feel better for it afterwards.

B is for BULLSH*T.  Oh boy, have I been spun some in my time.  I’m sure when it was happening that the agents or publishing houses believed what they were saying but please tread carefully with writers’ dreams.

C is for COFFEE AND CHOCOLATE.  Absolute essentials and if I was told I was banned from having them, I would simply refuse to write another word.

D is for DETERMINATION.  As a writer you need to have this in bucket loads.  Writing a novel starts with the words CHAPTER ONE and finishes with THE END.  There is no way to get to that point without dogged determination and discipline.  

E is for EDITING.  What more can I say, except grrrrrr!  The first draft is complete and then the hard work really begins.  After weeks of my own editing, the book then goes to hubbie and the red marker pen comes out, as does my vicious tongue, endless nights of bickering/sulking and the threat of divorce!  It’s a horrible time but we laugh (manically!) about it when it’s over.

F is for FOLLOWERS.  Those lovely people I’ve met through my writing who leave glowing reviews and eagerly await my next offering.  I love each and every one of them - without them I’d be nothing.

G is for GERM.  That wonderful moment when the first seed of a plot starts to grow arms and legs.  When suddenly you find that your head is filled with brand new characters telling you their stories.

H is for HOPE.  Every day starts with a fresh bout.  Will I have a stonkering sales day?  Will my words flow effortlessly?  Will I be discovered and shot to fame?  Without hope, we’re nothing.

I is for INSPIRATION.  Where on earth does it come from?  It’s quite scary really because it often appears from nowhere and hits me with a plot before I know it.  ‘Completing the Puzzle’ was inspired by a battered old Mini I see every day on my travels.  It made me think of the sons in the sitcom ‘Butterflies’ and, before I knew it - bam, I had a plot!  The idea for my latest Work In Progress came from an ad for a Bingo website - and no, not one game of Bingo features but it was enough to get me thinking.

J is for JITTERS.  As each new book is launched, I tremble with fear.  What if my readers don’t like it?  What if it’s totally panned?  Only after that first review hits Amazon, do I begin to calm down.

K is for KNOCKBACKS.  I haven’t submitted to an agent or publisher for over a year now as I felt that I’d had my emotions played around with just a little too much.  Not only was I rejected by a few (who hasn’t been?) but I was also signed up and messed about.  I was even approached by another agent who asked me to submit the complete manuscript for ‘Diary of a Mummy Misfit’ never to hear back from him again - and when chased up, he ignored me.  Rude!  I’m doing quite nicely as an Indie now and I don’t need to prostitute myself again.  Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, wrote the book.  If you want me, come and get me.  Simples!

L is for LAPTOP.  I’m practically surgically attached to it.  My first novel was written on a laptop I borrowed from my Goddaughter and it changed my writing life.  Before, I had always written in long-hand and I now know this is not the method for me.  Threaten my laptop and I will become vicious - it’s my life-support!

M  is for MORALE.  It’s important to stay upbeat as an Indie.  I have no agent, editor, publicist or publisher to chivvy me along and keep my spirits up and a ‘down-day’ has the potential to set me back for weeks.  This is where fellow Indies come in.  What a great bunch we are!  Anything I’m going through I can guarantee that they will have been through it too.  A quick, chat, Tweet, text or email and everything is put back into perspective.  Writers need never feel lonely now - it’s wonderful!

N is for NETWORKING.  Where would we Indies be without it?  From Facebook to Twitter, guest blogs to book websites.  Every minute not spent writing is spent marketing and that comes from networking.  I firmly believe that without Twitter I would have sold less than half the books I can brag about now.

O is for OMG!  That wonderful moment when someone other than a friend or family discovers my books and says they love them.  I can still remember that first time and the feeling it gave me.  I wish it could be bottled.

P is for PLOT-FACE.  I’m told by hubbie that this is a look I often sport.  It’s a kind of ‘dreamy, not quite in the room’ look and can often be accompanied by a very deep, throaty hum.  Give me a few minutes and I’m back but please don’t talk to me if I’m ‘under’!

Q is for QUALITY.  Always hoping that my latest book is as good as my others - that it will be as well received and of the standard my readers expect.  I’ve just finished reading a novel by a very well known and established author and it could only be described as lazy.  Constant repetition to the point I wanted to chuck it in the bin but I’d invested so much time in it I needed to know what happened.  Nothing is the answer - nothing that she hadn’t told us seven times before.  Shame on the publishers for churning out sub-standard books from your top writers, just because you know they’ll sell.

R is for REVIEWS.  Now, tempting fate here but I’ve been lucky with mine.  I know it won’t last because you can’t expect everyone to like your work.  I’ve read some real stinkers (even for traditionally published writers) and I’m always amazed by how spiteful people can be.  If I don’t like a book, I don’t post a review - writers have feelings you know and when you slate a book it’s a bit like telling them their baby is ugly.  Don’t do it!

S is for SALES.  As an Indie it’s very easy to become obsessed.  In the early days I used to check my sales report page every half an hour (sad but true).  Each and every sale still makes me smile - people are finding my books and my hard work is paying off.

T is for TYPOS.  Curse of the indie writer.  There are three of us who work on the final copy of my books and, each time I’ve released one, typos have still managed to slip through the net.  It still annoys me when I read reviews for other Indie books and the reader says, ‘You could tell it was self-published.  Typos!’  Trust me, it’s not just us.  Recently I’ve spotted more and more mistakes in big name novels - sack the proof-reader, I say.  Oh, and I can’t sack mine because they’re hubbie and best friend!

U is for UNAUTHORISED.  The annoying websites who get a copy of my novels when I’ve done a freebie promotion and then upload it, thinking they can sell it for profit.  Or the people who try to sell a paperback copy for £150!   GO AWAY!

V is for VA VA VOOM.  Those days when nothing will stop me.  The words are flying from my brain to my fingertips and the plot is racing along at a rate of knots.  I cherish those days -I never know when I’ll get another one.

W is for WASHING MACHINE.  Odd but true.  If I’m battling with a scene or dialogue, a trip to the washing machine and a quick flick of the kettle will see me returning to my computer with newfound oomph.  Just the act of loading or unloading the laundry seems to give me the shake-up I need.

X is for the X FACTOR.  With each new book I write I ask myself can I give it that special ‘something’?  Does it have my voice, my style?  Is it good enough?  What makes it different from anything else out there?  I can only do this by constant reading and research - it’s a job that never ends.

Y is for YAY!  This is how I feel each time I check my sales.  I’m a published writer, selling my books.  What a feeling!  My son always shouts, ‘Go Ma!’ when I tell him my sales figures for the day - that makes me feel so proud.

Z is for Zzzzzzzz!  Because there’s nothing like a good night’s sleep to let a plot settle and problems to resolve themselves.  Often my first waking thought will be the answer to an issue I’ve been struggling with.  The whole of the last page of ‘Christmas Deliverance’ was changed after a moment of sleep-induced clarity and it became a much better book for it.

So come on Indies - or any writers - do you agree?  Which would you change?  Why not do your own A-Z on your blog and let me know.  It would be interesting to see how many we agree on.

Launching 'Completing the Puzzle'

Last Saturday saw our very good friends throwing a book launch dinner for me.  It was us with our kids and another close friend.

I was greeted by a fantastic book launch balloon and 'Mummy Misfit' bunting.

There were a couple of catastrophes on the night!  Firstly, my hair.  I'd decided I wanted to ditch the boring bob and go a little wild.  My hair had other ideas.  It quite simply refused to conform and I spent a long while battling with it.  Hubbie to the rescue!  Is there no end to his talents?  I think he did a jolly good job and I applaud his patience.

The next drama was broken gently to me with an 'I'm afraid we've got some bad news,.  My blood ran cold - what could it be?  The oven had decided to breath its last and two huge chickens for our lovely roast were cooking slowly.  So slowly, it looked like we might settle to eat at midnight!  We moved to plan B and ordered a fantastic Indian takeaway - yes, the chickens were cooked by about 11.30 but we were all stuffed by then.

My beautiful God-daughter made me a launch cake - which miraculously complimented  my dress.  'Because we're so tuned in,' she told me!

Great fun was had by all - we blew champagne bubbles, covered ourselves in fairy dust (which I'm still finding now!), decorated my hair with party poppers (the streamers again miraculously matching my dress!) and played daft games.

Here are the rest of the pics - hope you enjoy:

 THE HOSTESS AND THE AUTHOR.

WITH HUBBIE

SON ON THE LEFT, HIS BEST FRIEND ON THE RIGHT

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN WE WERE TOLD TO LOOK ANIMATED!

A DRINK WITH A FRIEND UNTIL THE WIND BLEW AND MY HAIR MISBEHAVED.

THE MEAL WAS YUMMY!

ONE OF MY FAVE SHOTS.

MY GORGEOUS BOY JUST AFTER HE'D RECOVERED FROM A GIGGLING FIT.

THE HAIR IS JUST ABOUT HOLDING OUT - DECORATIONS COURTESY OF GOD DAUGHTER, SON AND FRIEND.  GLITTER EVERYWHERE AND MY HAIR IS NOT ORANGE, IT'S THE LIGHT!

SON TUCKING INTO CURRY, ME DEEP IN DISCUSSION WITH HIS FRIEND.

LOOKING AT A BABY NAME BOOK!  NO BABIES ON THE HORIZON, A NEW PUPPY FOR OUR FRIENDS.  VERY EXCITING!

THE MAN BEHIND THE WOMAN - COULDN'T DO ANY OF IT WITHOUT HIM.

So there you go - my lovely launch with my lovely friends.

My new book is available to buy at Amazon for Kindle and at Lulu in paperback.  I have two 5* reviews already!