My blog ... my space.

What's a blog for?

Well, that's a bit like asking how long's a piece of string, isn't it?

It's whatever you want it to be - you are, of course, master of your own blog.

DEFINITION
BLOG: 'web log'
A personal website or web page on which an individual records opinions, links to other sites, etc. on a regular basis.

If you choose to post about goat mating, women in stockings, recipes with chocolate or homosexual pirates that's totally up to you - your blog, do what you like.  And then I can choose whether or not I want to read it or to pass the information on to others.

Blogging for me means covering a whole manner of subjects.  I'm a writer so I might run with one thought one week and another the next.  My blog, my choice. Equally, your choice to decide whether or not you want to read it.

In the past I've covered the topics of  periods, breast-feeding, my dad, books and an imaginary interview with Graham Norton - a vast array of subjects which won't appeal to all.

But it's my blog and I won't be told what I can and can't write about.

I would never write with the intention to offend or upset - although varying opinions can't always guarantee that I won't.  Not everyone's going to agree with my thoughts on smoking in public places, dummies (pacifiers for my US readers!), immigrants or the English education system - but they are my thoughts for you to do with as you will - consider, agree, dismiss, think I'm the best thing since sliced bread, throw your toys out of the pram or vow never to read another word that I write again.

Up to you.  Up to me.

The purpose of my blog is not solely to sell books.  It's there for a whole magnitude of things.  My readers will know if someone pees me off in Sainsbury's or if Mr Marks & Spencer seemed to have stopped making suitable clothes for my mum - it will end up written about here.

Some weeks I may rant and other weeks I may be in a jokey mood.  Regular visitors will know that you can never be 100% sure what you might read on the Misfit's blog.  And that's what I love about it - I'm not pigeon-holed.  It's my space.

But saying that, I am always careful to consider my choice of words and subjects.  I have a filthy mind and hubbie and I can be 'foul of mouth' but my blog is not the place for that.  I've never posted a piece that I wouldn't have been happy to show to my 85 year old mother and that's the way I'll keep it.

In fact, I showed her last week's post today.  I had my reasons and she got a bit teary - but she got my point.  My blog, my opinion, my release.

People abuse Facebook on a daily basis with digs and jibes that go out worldwide to friends and relatives, and they get off scott free.  Bloggers come under fire because ... well, why?  Because they sat and considered their words and didn't shoot from the hip?  No, it's because it's a permanent record of their thoughts or feelings at the time and Facebook is so 'in the moment' and virtually impossible to trace back.

Whatever you post on social media sites is out there for people to see,  you should own it - stand up and take responsibility for it.  You may just have posted an off-the-cuff one liner but those words can still do damage.

I don't ask anyone to read my blog - and yet I have thousands of hits a week.  Why?  Well I would hope it's because I'm open, honest, tell it as it is and that people feel that they have got to know me through my words.

My blog will continue to do what it says on the tin - it will be posts from the author Amanda Egan - on whichever subject she chooses and that's the way it will remain.

If you decide to come back next week - that's up to you.

Misfit and Son on TV!

Oh boy, today was the day!  Our big TV debut.

Who would have thought that my son's crippling condition of school phobia would lead to me writing five books, featuring in the Daily Mail, on BBC Radio London and THEN ITV's This Morning.

I'm so proud of my young man - from all of the bad, so much good has featured in our lives and today really proved that.

So ... I was up at 6am today ready for our cab to ITV at 7.45, in the vain hope that my face might wake up!  Mum Fail #1!

Son fell out of bed at 7.10, bright eyed and bushy tailed - not an ounce of nerves in sight! Point to Son #1.

Arrived at the studios to the friendliest security man in living history, instantly put at ease in my sleepy and nervy state.

Directed through sets and storage area to lift - Mum Fail #2 - I hate lifts.  Son told me not to be daft and so I got in.  Point to Son #2.

And it's such a glam lift, how could I resist?

Me looking like I need a nappy change - just a tad scared by now.  Mum Fail #3

ITV coffee and croissants, toast or biscuits before make-up

One view of the Green Room and the TV hubbie watched us on.

The framed photo to the left of the TV says,

'Please Tweet your performance on ITV's This Morning'

Love it!

I have to say what a lovely bunch of people work at This Morning - we were made to feel welcome from the minute we arrived and everyone was just so happy!  People who love their jobs and want to be there - special thanks to the lovely Flo, in particular.  Son was so impressed, he's already been invited to send his CV in as he really wants to work there (BBC and ITV now!)  Point to Son #3.

OK, so next I headed off to make-up.  Lovely ladies but I will never let you near me again.  You may have tried to curl my hair but you will soon realise it has a mind of its own and please don't cake me with STUFF! Mum Fail #4.

With my boy - coffee #1

This is where we hit Mum Fail #5  - weak bladder!  Off I went to the loo ... and got lost.  It's a big place, ITV! So Point to Son #4 - who then had to take me to the loo and bring me back each time.  His comment?  'Mum!  Please don't make me do this!  It makes me look clingy!'  Extra Point to Son #5  for humour and putting me at ease! How the tables turn!

Cool, laid back son - tweeting and chilled.

Hilarious!  I was guided here to smoke, in the non smoking area.

Go figure!

Piles of fag ends at my feet!

So ... then we had our tour of the studio.  Sooo tiny and really weird to see it when you've watched the programme on and off for so many years (throughout the whole of my pregnancy and breast feeding!!!).

We shared the Green Room with David Mellor and Tom Parker-Bowles (or Tom Parker Meat-Bowles, as son has now renamed him after he cooked horse free meatballs on the show!)  Point to Son #6.  Liz Fraser was also there - fellow Twitterer and author - but I didn't get the chance to say hello.  Mum fail #6. We have since Tweeted one another and promised to say Hi, if I'm ever invited back!

And then it was 10.45 - the ad break and time for us to head to the set for our slot.  Phil and Holly were lovely and SO eager to make us feel comfortable - kisses and hugs all round and a quick chat about our interview and ... BAM!  they were into it!  Unbelievably cool, calm, professional - Philip is so cute and Holly is glamour personified (like a lovely dolly fresh from the box).

The interview was over in a flash - I have now had the chance to watch it and I  feel so very proud of my lovely young man.  He was confident and well spoken and he made my heart swell with pride.  Point to Son #7.  I, on the other hand, looked like a woman attacked by fear and a make-up artist.  Mum fail #7.

All those hours of panic were over and we headed back to the Green Room for coffee.  LOOK at the mug they gave me!!!

And we were then given these signed photos to complete our morning out:

The Silver Fox

And the lovely Holly Willer-Boobie!

Our cab brought us home and we were just in time to watch it on ITV+1.  Bad move!  I was cringing and moaning about how old and YUCK I  looked.  Mum fail #8.

Son said, 'Yep, I looked OK.' and disappeared to Tweet and play on the computer without a second thought.  Point to Son #8.

And then of course, we had the 'haters'!  Amongst all the wonderfully positive comments on the show and on Twitter, you will always get those without a brain cell.  This is old hat to us now - been there, done that.  We've clearly helped so many people to start talking about their own experiences, I'm now past caring.

My final point would be this.  Some may think that school phobia is just a 'label' but it's a very real feeling - it's not naughtiness, petulance or 'trying it on'.  My son was not bullied or lazy - PLEASE people, listen!  I just pray you never face anything like it in your lives - karma will be your reward.

And to all of you who have supported us along the way and those who have spoken out or asked for advice, I thank you and I wish you well.

Look at the son I have to show for it now!  #SonWins

'There but for the grace of God' ...

As the saying goes, ‘there’s no such thing as bad publicity’ and, after appearing in The Daily Mail yesterday, I couldn’t agree more.

Regular readers of my blog will know that I began my writing journey after my son developed school phobia and I found that I had time on my hands to read and ultimately fulfil my dream of completing a novel.  My son was crippled by his condition and, at the time, there was very little help or information - even online.  So when the opportunity to feature in a national newspaper came up, both my son and I agreed that if it could help just ONE child it would be worth it.

I’ve now had many people contact me through Facebook, Twitter and via comments on the article saying how relieved they were to read the story - that they no longer feel alone.  And, always a bonus, my book sales have rocketed and my first book ‘Diary of a Mummy Misfit’ is back to #49 in humour on Kindle.  And for those who aren't familiar with my writing, none of my books are related to my experiences with school phobia - I write humorous chicklit, which I don't think came across in the article.

On the downside … people can be so nasty!  Some of the comments made by ill-informed readers astonished me.  I don’t mind for myself, but when they’re spiteful and directed at my son, that’s when I start to see red!  Thankfully, he’s a level headed boy and has had a good laugh at them - no, he’s no the weak little weasel who likes trainspotting and hides behind his mother’s apron, as some readers seemed to think. He’s a tall and feisty 17 year old with a wicked sense of humour and a definite mind of his own.  I agree that the photos are very staged and imply that we are joined at the hip - but that’s the papers for you!

But the truly laughable comments were:

‘So sad when you see an old mum’ !!!

OK so I’m almost 50!

‘Where was the father in all this?’ / ‘Another single mother ruins a child’s life’

Did you not read the article?  It clearly states that I’m married and my husband was supportive.  Why show yourself up by commenting on something you haven’t read?

‘Why didn’t she get him counselling or attempt half days?’

Go back and have another read, love!

‘How convenient that he developed this problem in time for some publicity for a new book’

Er, excuse me, the book mentioned in the article has been published for 18 months.

‘How wordy is this article?  Did she have to hit a word target?’

This was an annoying one as, although the article had my name at the top, I didn’t write it.  This had worried me from the start but it was the only way the Mail were prepared to do it. I'd also like to add that I never agreed to the headline, 'Now she wonders if she was devoted or deluded' - this implies that I regret my decision, which I don't.

Then, of course, you have the bullies - the type who would have made other kid’s lives a misery.  The ‘clip round the ear’ / ‘give ‘em a good whacking’ type who have been fortunate enough to never suffer from feelings of fear or panic.  I wouldn’t wish it on anyone but, you my friends, can have a bloody good dose of it and rot.  And, as one reader suggested, God forbid you should ever have to be there for one of your own loved ones - you wouldn’t have the tools to cope.

Just to set the record straight, I did not mollycoddle my son when this condition started - I was a hard-hearted, mean mum who screamed, shouted and lost the plot on several occasions.  I’m not proud of that but we had no idea what we were dealing with at the time.  I helped in the library for a year (unpaid) and was on the brink of being offered a job there when the owner of the school decided against employing a mum - so, to all those who implied I was a lazy middle class cow who was happy to sit in my car and file my nails, remember newspaper articles never print all the facts.

It’s so easy to judge, isn’t it?  We all do it - I’ve been guilty of it in the past.  I can fully accept that there will be many people who will totally disagree with the way that this problem was dealt with, but they haven’t lived through it or walked in my shoes.  I have no problem with reading people’s opinions but is there ever any excuse for such vitriol?  I wonder if it makes these trolls feel good?

So … would I do it again?  Hell yeah!  As long as my son is OK with nutters’ views, then I’m happy and all we’ll do is focus on the positive comments and hope that we can continue to help other kids and parents.

And if you are one of those people who go round, willy-nilly, leaving vile words - stop and think before you type.  Or maybe just try getting a life!