The Next Big Thing

This past week has seen both the Mummy Misfit books in the Top 50 (UK) in PAID humour for Kindle on Amazon!  My free promo days seemed to raise my profile and I’ve been selling more books than ever before!

Good, huh?

So it seems rather appropriate that I should have been tagged by my Indie buddy, Michelle Betham, to introduce to you ‘The Next Big Thing’.

This is where I have the opportunity to answer questions on my current work in progress.  You can read Michelle’s here.

So, here goes. 

What is the working title of your book?

Book Four will be called, ‘Stilettos and Stubble’ ©.  You heard it here first.  The title is mine and no one can pinch it, OK? 

Where did the idea come from for the book?

The world of drag clubs has always fascinated me and I’m a massive fag hag so, once the seed of a plot popped into my head, I grabbed it and ran with it.  I also wanted a less than perfect heroine and watching Miranda Hart one night gave me the perfect inspiration. 

What genre does your book fall under? 

‘Stilettos and Stubble’ will be a rom-com. 

Which actors would you choose to play your characters on screen?

My lead, Persephone (or Percy as she prefers to be called!) would be played by Miranda Hart.  She needs to be larger than life, a little ungainly and an expert at putting herself down. 

You may be surprised to see such a glam picture of Miranda but it needed to be this one for a reason.  Much of the production would see her looking as polished as this - but of course we’d also get to see the scruffy Miranda we’ve grown to know and love!

As for the ‘love interest’ that’s a bit tricky because he needs to be taller than Miranda and strikingly good looking.  Research was fun though and if the lovely Gerard Butler could bulk himself up just a tad more, he’s got the job!

Another vital character in the book is the owner of the drag club, Annie Vestite.  Oh such an easy decision here.  I bring you the fantabulosa Julian Clary.

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

‘It’s what’s inside that counts.’ 

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

I'll remain an Indie writer unless I’m snapped up by an agent I have complete faith in. 

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

I started work in May and I plan to have the first draft finished by mid-October.  The book will be launched at the beginning of December. 

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

Hmm, not sure about that one.  I’d like to think it has the humour of Jill Mansell and Sophie Kinsella but it’s something that really hasn’t been done before so, … well … who knows? 

Who or what inspired you to write this book?

Back to Miranda Hart again!  So many books seem to have perfectly petite heroines with high flying careers and men dropping at their feet.  I wanted a ‘real’ woman with failed dreams and ‘issues’. 

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

What’s not to love?  Glitz, glamour, humour, bitching, love and friendship all rolled into one.

So watch this space.  ‘Stilettos and Stubble’ will hit the Amazon and Lulu shelves in December.  And remember, it’s what’s inside that counts!

I now tag two fellow authors and Twitter pals. 

Jamie Dougan - you can find his three books here and currently all proceeds are going to Cancer Research. 

Robert Daws - introducing the 2^nd in his Sullivan and Broderick Mysteries with ‘Poisoned Rock’.  The first in the series is called ‘The Rock’ and can be found here. 

Currently all three of my books are available to buy at Amazon UK and Amazon.com for Kindle.  Also in paperback at Lulu.

When Mummy Met Jackie

I met a fab new Twitterer a few months back and we instantly hit it off.  Our love of musicals and our daft sense of humour united us and, before I knew it, she’d bought all of my books, left great reviews and done her utmost to spread the Mummy Misfit word.  We’re meeting up in September and today we spoke for the first time on the phone.

So @Jackie495 was the perfect choice when I decided I wanted some ‘off the wall’ questions for my blog.  Here we go, and huge thanks to Jackie:

Besides your hubby, who would be your next perfect dinner date and why?

Oh, such a tricky first question!  I’d love a date with Noel Coward (dead), Curtis Stigers (married), Julian Clary (gay), Geoffrey Palmer (too old), Ollie Murs (too young), Simon Cowell (too arrogant).  So I’ll stick with my lovely hubbie!

In your book, 'Diary of a Mummy Misfit’, you mention 'Pink Cocks' - short for cocktails - but would you ask a barman for one?

No!  I’m too nice to ask a barman for a pink cock.  That would be rude.  I’d ask for a ‘White Russian’ - lots of cream!

You're a huge fan of 'Absolutely Fabulous'.  Would you say you're more like Patsy or Edina?  And would you enjoy having their whacky lifestyle 24/7?

I’m definitely Patsy, Sweedie.  And you're my Eds, as you know!  The trouble is, I have two friends who could ‘out-Patsy’ me any day.  And, no, I couldn’t do the whacky lifestyle 24/7 - far too old and need my sleep.

Your followers on Twitter know that you're partial to a glass of wine .... or should that be a crate?!  But have you ever really lost your senses and done anything so silly that you've regretted it in the morning ... and can you share?

Sadly, I have no dirt to dish on ‘Mummy Misfit Misdemeanours’ because I’m a self-confessed control freak.  Yes, I like my tipple but I know when to stop.  I’d never allow booze to let me get in such a state that I’d embarrass myself.  Sorry!

If you could keep a farm animal in your back garden, what would it be, and why?

I LOVE goats.  Sadly my garden is way too small to accommodate one but it’s my dream to have a garden full of cats, dogs and goats.

Who or what inspires you?

Corny answer here, but it’s my husband.  He’s the most positive person I’ve ever met in my life.  After five years of unemployment he still starts every day with a song and a smile on his face.  He lifts me up when I’m down and I’m so grateful for every day we have together.  OK, fetch the puke bucket - but I think he’s the best.

You have a brilliant sense of humour Amanda.  If you had the chance to write a comedy script for TV, would you jump at the chance?

I’d love to write a script for TV and am still hoping that something will happen with the Misfit books.  I know for sure that ‘BOOK FOUR’ has the perfect part for Miranda Hart -so, who knows?

As you trained as an actress, would you consider playing a part from one of your own novels if it transferred to stage or screen?  If so, who would you play and why?

Although I’m very much Libby, I’d really enjoy playing the part of Fenella because she has no inhibitions and just says it as it is.  I wish I could be more like that - every day, I wish!

It's your wedding anniversary soon.  Will you be making puff balls for your party?

There won’t be a big party this year, so no puff balls.  But in 2014, we’ll have been married for 20 years and I’ll be 50 so that will be a big ‘Puff Ball Occasion’.  I hope you’ll be there Jackie, to share a pink cock or two?!

Do you think people come into our lives for a reason?

Yes, I like to think that people do, in the same way that people leave your life for a reason.

If a fireman ever asked you to hold his hose for him, would you?

Of course I would, it would be rude not to.  (titter, titter!)

Did you ever get expelled from school and, if so, why?

Nope, never got expelled because I was a ‘good girl’!  The head-mistress did send a letter home once, though, saying that I was on a warning as I’d been out of school to buy chips.  My dad just laughed and said that if that was the worst thing I ever did, she could get stuffed.  I loved my dad!

Do you think it's about time you gave up smoking, or do you want to be a fag hag forever?

Ah Jackie, I think you and I may have different interpretations about the meaning of the term ‘fag hag’.  A ‘fag hag’ to me is a lady who likes the company of homosexual gentlemen.  Which I do!  But yes, I smoke, so I am a bit of a hag and YES, OK I SHOULD GIVE UP!!!!!!

When you win the Euro Millions, what is the first thing you will buy and why?

A bottle of champagne to get over the shock - then pay off all our debts and sleep for a month on a desert island.

You write funny books, but do you read lots of humorous books yourself?

I love a book that gives me a chuckle - there’s so much misery in life, why not?

Who is your favourite author?

Ah, thanks Jackie, we end on another tricky one!  Here goes:  Lisa Jewell, Maeve Binchy, Penny Vincenzzi, Catherine Alliott, Jane Fallon, Jill Mansell, Annie Sanders, Jilly Cooper (in the old days), Veronica Henry, Sophie Kinsella and my lovely Indie friend, Michelle Betham.

Huge thanks to Jackie for such great questions at such short notice.  Anyone else want to hit me with some?  Let me know.

 NOW HEAD OFF AND CHECK OUT MY BOOKS ON AMAZON OR LULU - JACKIE SAYS SO!!!

A Day in the Life of a Lazy Cow

I haven’t worked for anyone else for many years and for many reasons.  Firstly there was the birth of my son and I chose to be a stay at home mum - I was also fortunate enough to be able to do this because my husband was in well paid full-time employment.

Once my son started school, and it became clear that the stork had no further deliveries for us, I knew I had to find more to do with my life.  I re-trained as an adult literacy tutor and spent five happy years meeting some inspirational people who, in many ways, taught me far more than I taught them.  The main reason I stopped was because of the crappy funding in our borough, which constantly closed down classes until I never knew if my course was actually running or not.

But, as John Lennon so poignantly said, ‘Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans’.

I stopped teaching at just about the time my family commitments went up a notch.  No, not another baby but ‘stuff’ that meant I needed to be around just a little bit more - I won’t go into detail but between my mum and my son they kept me busy with ‘issues’ for quite a while and, in many ways, continue to do so.

As most of you will already know, my son’s problem was school phobia.  Had I been employed at the time, I wouldn’t have been able to carry on working.  I needed to be there to sort out this massive problem that had come from nowhere.  He now looks back and (thankfully) laughs.  He can’t understand, or put into words, the feelings that he had - but it resulted in me spending three years AT SCHOOL WITH HIM.

I look back over the years from 2006 until 2009 and often wonder how I got through them.  I guess the answer is, I had no choice - you deal with what life throws at you and I firmly believe that I turned (and continue to turn) a negative into a positive.  Because I didn’t sit in my car at the school and mope my days away - I read, read and read and then I wrote, wrote and wrote until ‘Diary of a Mummy Misfit’ was born.  Not one minute of my time was wasted - I was honing my craft.  In many ways, it was heaven - no distractions, no excuses, just writing and peace.

So from that rather odd start on my career path, and with some on-going commitments (my mum), I now find myself a full-time writer.

I’m not dabbling at this.  Not just sticking a toe in the water.  I live, breathe, eat and sleep writing.  When I’m not writing or promoting or tweeting or blogging or doing interviews, I may look like a ‘normal’ woman going through life but inside I’m writing that next scene, constructing that next dialogue.

So probably best not to say to me, ‘You choose not to work.’

Not really the wisest move, eh?

Because, trust me, I’ve had people say that and it doesn’t sit well with me.

There are many reasons why I can’t take on a ‘paid job’ right now - a job where I have to be there from 9-5 regardless - and the people who say I ‘choose not to work’ should be well aware of those reasons.  Sadly, they’re not.

So, as someone who ‘doesn’t work’, let me take you through a typical day and see if you fancy ‘dossing’ as much as I do to earn approximately a quid a book.

GET UP:  Do all the usual checks.  Book sales (not a best seller yet), reviews (phew, no crap ones yet), email (no TV deals yet), Blog (great night for hits, no weirdos leaving comments), Twitter (lovely friends leaving positive comments and willing me to carry on) and DM’s (thoughts and ideas from Twitter friends).

COFFEE - work my way through any interviews or guest blogs I need to get done.

MORE COFFEE - Look through yesterday’s chapter, make changes and re-acquaint myself with my path.

CONTEMPLATE MORE COFFEE BUT HAVE WATER - to write or to promote?  My new novel is calling me but I need to be looking at ways of marketing my other three babies.  Search the web for review sites and other marketing ideas.

DRINK MORE COFFEE and sulk for a while.

BACK ON TO WATER NOW TO STOP THE JITTERS - need to concentrate.  My target for each day is 3,000 words but there are many days this doesn’t happen.  Fingers hover over the keyboard and … I’m away.

CHECK SALES.  STARE OUT OF WINDOW.

RING FELLOW INDIE FOR A MOAN - Michelle Betham and I started on this journey at the same time and act as lifelines for one another.  I truly do not know what I’d do without her.

CHECK TWITTER - another lovely reader has left a comment.  The vote of confidence gives me a boost and I hit my 3,000 word target.

This process continues for most of the day and into the night.  I’ve sold more books (and made more friends) during my night-time Twittering than through any other means.  Don’t tell me Twitter is crap!

Then, when the work in progress is complete, everything goes up another notch.  Reading, re-reading, editing, formatting, cover design, getting the word out there.  As an Indie, that month leading up to a book’s release is a killer.

Fancy giving it a go?  Would you still tell someone they ‘choose not to work’?  I can honestly tell you, I have never worked harder.

I’m not complaining - I love every minute of it - although sometimes I’d just like to be left to write the books and leave the rest to someone else.

But - not working? - I don’t think so!

Leave comments, if you dare!

Happy Anniversary to Me!

'What’s this?’ I hear you say!  ‘Two blog posts in a week from the Misfit?’

Well it had to be done really because today is my first anniversary of being an Indie writer.  Yes, one year ago today I launched my first book and within the next week I will have three out there.  Not bad going really.

I was totally unaware until yesterday that my good friend and fellow Indie author , Michelle Betham, had her first anniversary yesterday.  Read her blog post here.  We’ve been there for each other through thick and thin - celebrating one anothers highs and swearing at each other over the lows.  Really, you should see the emails we send!!

I think Michelle’s blog says it all - there is very little else I can add to it.  Indies are now a force to be reckoned with.  We’re not prepared to sit back and decide that somebody decrees our books are good enough to be published - we work hard at our craft, polishing our manuscripts until they are perfect and we keep on at it.  We’re not ‘one-book-wonders’, we’re full of stories waiting to be told.  Publishers really don’t know what they’re missing out on.  But, sadly, neither Michelle nor I are ‘A’ list celebs so that says it all really.  Bitter?  Us?  Hell, yeah!

But becoming an Indie writer is certainly not a decision to take lightly.  It’s a constant slog and, as Michelle says, writing the books is the easy part.  It’s the promoting and marketing, the guest blogs, the interviews, the constant need to look for a new angle to get your books talked about - they are the killers.

Sales can be slow.  Then you have a day when they’re sky-high and you can’t figure out what made it happen.  You wrack your brains to see if you’ve done something different, to see if you can repeat it - always looking for that elusive selling tactic.

I could never have got through the see-saw of emotions if it hadn’t been for Michelle or my lovely fans who have become friends on Twitter.  They are such a loyal and devoted bunch and have often made me cry with their kind words, encouragement or great reviews.  They really make it all worthwhile and I truly thank them for that.

I feel incredibly proud of what I’ve achieved in this last year.  When I look back to how close I came to being published traditionally, and then having to come to terms with the fact that my dream could be over, I realise that I had the strength and determination not to be beaten.

So today I raise my glass to Michelle and say ‘To us!  The Fabulous Feisty Indies.  Soul sisters, doing it for themselves!  Long may we continue our battle in this mad, mad world of writing!’

Make our anniversaries special and check out our books.  Chick lit, humour and a bit of raunchiness - you’ll find it all between the two of us!  Mine are here and Michelle’s are here.  Support an Indie today!

Oh and in case you hadn’t heard (!!!) my new novel ‘Completing the Puzzle’ is out on 6^th June and Michelle’s sequel to ‘No matter What’ (‘Illusions of Love’) is out later in June too.  Watch this space.

See we really do work hard!