People who know me and love me would say that I can sometimes be a bit of a control freak and can very often be black and white with my opinions. I hold my hands up in surrender and admit to both of these accusations.
My name is Amanda Egan and I am what I am.
There's nothing like life and experience to make you realise that there can come a time when you have to change your way of thinking - you can't always be in control of things that happen, you can't influence people and sometimes you have to 'roll with it' rather than drive yourself nuts.
Over the last few years there have been about four life changing issues that I've had to do battle with. I won't go into details but, suffice it to say, I've realised that there's only so long you can give 'set in stone' situations any more head-space.
There are two routes:
Peace and acceptance.
I tried the first option and it didn't work for me. Sleepless nights, constant inner turmoil, voicing worries/discussing with hubbie and/or friends - nothing changed. The worries and problems remained as large as life, refusing to leave.
So ... I booted them out. I didn't need them. How were they enhancing my life? And, if I was totally honest with myself, the misery I was putting myself through would never actually affect the future outcome.
I guess that's what my husband is so good at - being pragmatic.
Definition: dealing with things sensibly and realistically in a way that is based on practical rather than theoretical considerations.
Maybe a bit of the pragmatist has rubbed off on me (no euphemism intended) but once I learnt to let go, I felt a whole lot happier.
My energies are much better being channelled towards the characters who live in my head. And that's not madness, that's a happy place!