Friday, 25 April 2014

FUNKLESS FRIDAY - with me.

Ooops!  There's been a Misfit stuff-up.  As we approach the final month of FUNKY FRIDAY I've just realised that the next three guests I had booked in, haven't sent me their answers yet so I need to chase them up.

*Sits and twiddles thumbs, thinking of something entertaining to fill the embarrassing silence*

Ahem!  So what have I been up to?

Last week saw me handing the novel over to Mr Misfit and he's currently working his magic (READ: putting annoying little squiggles and scribbles everywhere). The joint edit is the next step and then it will wing its way to my loyal test readers before hitting the virtual shelves in June.

With the book in the capable hands of The Scribbler, I took the opportunity to start on the biggest Spring Clean I've ever attempted.  Our bedroom was the first to be blitzed and after accumulating approximately 13 sacks of clothes, shoes and handbags we decided to try our luck at our first car-boot sale in years.  We did rather well, but boy do you earn your money!

The minute the boot was opened, we were attacked by punters and bargain hunters.  The three of us were working non-stop with the hagglers and the downright cheeky.  A leather purse for 50p and you have the cheek to offer me 20p?  I'd rather it went to a charity shop, actually.

AND ... we almost had a case of fistycuffs over a black woolen cape!  A lady had it in her hands, decided she didn't want to pay £4 for it and went to place it back on the rail.  At this point another lady grabbed the edge of it and sparks flew.  A tug of war began and the lady who had been looking at it initially was determined that she was now going to pay the full asking price just so that she could win the battle.

LADY ONE: (on realising that someone else was holding the cape) Let go!
LADY TWO:  NO!  You didn't want it.
LADY ONE:  I hadn't decided.
LADY TWO:  Yes you had.  You were putting it back.
LADY ONE:  I'm still holding it (tug, pull, tug, pull)
LADY TWO: You need to decide quicker.
LADY ONE:  What do you mean, you stupid woman.  I know about people like you.  You come to these places and buy loads of stuff you don't really need to fill up your house.  (hello?)

At this point they tried to get me involved and, a bit like a mum at playgroup trying to placate non-sharing toddlers, I mumbled a few calming words while smiling sweetly and praying that my cape was going to survive the onslaught.

Lady One won with a final pull and smugly placed her four pounds in my hand before sashaying off to a barrage of Lady Two's insults and obscenities!

Drama over, we went back to work and giggled every time our customers picked up a HUGE dolly, pulled down her pants and looked at her lady-bits!  She must have been accosted thirty times, poor girl - it was a chilly day too.

When the MASSIVE doll was final heading off to her new home, the TINY Indian lady who bought her realised that she couldn't actually pick her up and asked me, in all seriousness, if she could walk!  Erm, no!  I don't know how she actually managed to transport her purchase but I still have visions of a little lady buried and struggling to escape from beneath a dolly somewhere in the Wimbledon area.

So ... all in all an entertaining and financially rewarding day was had by all.  Except the teen came away £94 poorer as he bought me a painting and himself a guitar!

This week I've been attacking the 'Cupboard of Doom' in his bedroom but that's a whole other blog!

Happy FUNKLESS FRIDAY to you all - see you next week when hopefully normal service should be resumed.

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