Well, here we are at last. New book, new release date, same old nerves!
My TWELFTH full-length novel will hit Amazon and Lulu on Wednesday 28th June.
In the meantime, here's the cover reveal, blurb and first chapter.
Enjoy!
THE BLURB
Penny seems to have the perfect life.
A fantastic job on a country manor estate
with lodgings thrown in and a fit boss
who's more like a friend.
Everything about her is highly organised.
Except for affairs of the heart.
When conventional methods fail, how far
is she prepared to go to find herself a husband?
At the risk of jeopardising her friendships
- and indeed her livelihood -
can she learn to listen to her heart
rather than her head to discover that ...
... love is what happens while you're
busy making other plans?
* * * * *
Chapter One
A word of
advice. Sitting on the loo in a
nightclub at three a.m. after a bottle of wine, three glasses of champagne and
a tequila slammer is not the ideal
place to have a light-bulb moment. Trust
me, being surrounded by other women's hen night vomit, trails of discarded
toilet paper and empty tampon tubes really isn't
the environment you want to be in when you look in your handbag and realise
you've messed up.
Monumentally.
And all because
of the wrong bloody evening bag.
*****
That afternoon at
work had been totally manic. Had it been
quieter I might not have found myself perched on a clammy toilet seat
contemplating my rather dodgy future, because I'd have had the time to head
into town and pick up the beaded clutch I'd ordered to go with my outfit for
the coming evening.
But no. From the minute I hit my desk, problems after
problems reared their ugly heads until by the time it got to two o'clock, I knew
that there was no way I'd be enjoying the relaxing afternoon off that I'd
planned.
So I put in a
quick call to best friend Evie and mumbled my request through a mouthful of
'egg and stress' sandwich - as my dear mum used to call them.
'Sorry, Pen,' Evie
interrupted. 'I can't understand a word
you're saying. Have you been to the
dentist or something? Or maybe you're
having some sort of attack at the realisation that you need to call this
ridiculous farce of a marriage off.'
Ignoring the
wedding lectures that had become part of her daily routine, I carried on
regardless.
'Hmmph, cang u
... gulp ... splutter ... collect ... bag ...'
Swallowing down
the hurried bite I'd taken, I continued, 'Oh, Evie! Sorry, it's batshit mad here today. I haven't had time to scratch and I'm just
wolfing down my lunch before I faint from hunger. I just wondered if you'd have time to nip
into Accessorize and pick up the bag
I ordered. I'll be lucky to get away
from here before six tonight. Bloody Logan is driving me up
the wall! I don't know what he'll do when I'm on honeymoon.'
As Evie agreed to
run my errand for me and I hung up, Bloody
Logan - my boss - appeared in the doorway, clearly having heard what I'd
said and smiling in the way that only he can, mud on his wellies, holes in his
cashmere jumper and unruly curls going in all directions.
'What will I do
when you're on honeymoon?' he repeated. ‘Hmm,
well now, let's see shall we, Penny? I
shall mope and mourn, dragging myself around the estate with ashen face and
sunken eyes and the business will more than likely go fun-bags up. But then you shall return to the fold, wave
your magic wand over everything and all will be restored to order. Oh, and you'll
probably realise the error of your ways and be asking me for advice on divorce
proceedings because, let's face it Perfect Penny, you are being a bit of a tit.'
Opening my mouth
to defend myself, I was stopped in my tracks when he leaned over my desk to
wipe a crumb from the side of my lips.
'Got a stray bit
of cress there. Not a good look.'
Licking the
offending morsel from his finger, he turned to leave adding, 'By the way, Ma
wants to see you up at the manor before you go.
Something about a wedding present.
I told her not to bother 'cos it won't last but you know Ma - can't tell her anything. My gift
to you will be a shoulder to cry on and the name of a good lawyer - you can
thank me later.'
Stuffing the last
of my sandwich defiantly in my mouth, I pulled a face behind his back. Why did
everyone have such a problem with my impending nuptials?
*****
There are a few
things you should know about my job, my boss, my life and how I'd come to be considered
(A) Miss Perfect and (B) Momentarily deranged.
Living and
working in a small village on the outskirts of Oxford was like a dream come true. Landing the position at Grangeford Manor was
everything I could have hoped for. It
was challenging, varied and fun, allowing me the scope to stretch myself and
implement new ideas and initiatives - more of that later - and I'm not blowing
my own trumpet here but, had it not been for some of my brainwaves, Logan and his family might not have been
sitting quite as prettily on their
threadbare silk cushions as they were now.
Anyway, I
digress. Grangeford Manor is the humongous
house that sits at the back of approximately ten acres of stunning Oxfordshire
land in an area called Sunningford. With
more rooms than I care to count, it houses Logan in the left wing and the rest of his
family everywhere else. Literally everywhere else - scattered
like confetti after a windy wedding. Various
staff help to keep the manor running smoothly - I use this term lightly, as
chaos seems to be the major force of The Newton-Barr family. On occasions, Logan's brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews
and other assorted waifs appear for short - occasionally longer - stays and I
never quite know who might pop into my office at any given time with some weird
request. In fact once Christiana, Logan's youngest sister,
asked me to call the doctor for the morning after pill as she was so hung-over
her eyes couldn't focus on the phone that her hands were too shaky to hold.
That's the sort of job I have!
But my main role
is the organisation and running of the estate's converted barns - one of which
is my office, another my home, four permanent rentals and three holiday
lets. Again, there's never a dull moment
and the responsibility for these, combined with the events we now offer up at
the manor, keep me chasing my tail like a dog with mange.
Logan and I have
a great working relationship. He can fly
off the handle and appear distracted and curt sometimes but I've always known
how to throw calming waters on his raging fire and, most of the time, we share
easy banter and muddle along quite nicely.
Lady Finola, his mother, often joked that we were like an old married
couple. To which I'd blush and Logan would mumble. He's my boss and my friend - that's all,
except things became complicated for a while.
Anyway, the family was always telling me that they didn't know what
they'd do without me. My eye for detail,
my efficiency and what they called my natural knack for troubleshooting and muck-cleaning
when the shit hit the fan, had got them out of many a scrape over the years.
'She's just perfect!' was
the line I'd hear the most. Which,
funnily enough, was what my parents always used to say about me. It's a lofty description to live up to but my
mission in life has always been to simply do my best and never let people down.
Years of being a Brownie, Guide, milk
monitor, prefect and Head Girl are deeply ingrained in me. I make no apologies!
The first seven
years here were the happiest I'd ever been.
A new start, a fab career and salary all with stunning digs thrown
in. My social life had never been
better, dating came easily to me and I generally had a high old time. Meeting Spence was the icing on the cake - or
so I'd thought. He was also settled in a
great job, had the same OCD tendencies for order and precision as I did and seemed to share a similar set of
values. Of course, Logan never took to him but I became used to
his snide comments and allowed them to run off me like water from Donald and
Daffy, who liked to come and waddle around in puddles outside my barn door.
It wasn't until
my mother became unwell that I started seeing Spence through Logan's eyes - a little too pristine to hang
around and witness the ugliness of impending death. In short, when the going got tough, the tough
became a wet fart and scurried off with a stream of pretty poor excuses faster
than a priest could read the Last Rites.
Logan and his
family on the other hand, couldn't have been more accommodating. Knowing that my poor mum had a morbid fear of
dying in hospital, they converted one of the barn rentals so that she could
live out her final months in comfort and with me never more than a moment
away. They employed a nurse for the
times that I couldn't be there and, towards the end, they recruited a temp for
my job so that I could be by her side the whole time. Through their kindness I had the comfort of
being with her when she passed and for that I will always be grateful.
Suffice it to
say, losing my mum took its toll. My
life suddenly seemed to have got stuck on the pause button and I was
scared. An only child, with no other
family to speak of, my mother had been my one constant and, still reeling from
Spence's abandonment, I found myself questioning the point of anything. OK, so he probably hadn't been The One but,
drained from the trauma of my loss, I felt like an anchorless boat, bobbing
around in a turbulent sea with no idea of the direction in which I should be heading.
What is it the
experts say about grief? Don't make any
hasty decisions for at least two years?
Yeah, well I didn't listen to that
one, did I? My life wasn't perfect. It was a mess - and watching someone you love
die before your very eyes makes you question your own mortality - I didn't want to die alone. I didn't want to live alone so I made the decision to take the bull by the horns and
get me a husband - even if it meant paying for one.
*****
The rest of the
afternoon leading up to my hen night flew by in a haze. Any trips to the hairdressers or nail bar in
preparation for my so called big send-off, flew out of the window as I juggled
calls from prospective holiday renters and meetings with cleaning contractors
or caterers for various upcoming events.
Logging out of my
computer at just gone six, I figured I'd have just enough time for the quickest
of showers before heading off to meet the girls at the restaurant we'd booked
prior to hitting a club.
'Erm ...
Penny? Here ...'
Logan had appeared in the doorway and was shuffling uncomfortably. 'Take this towards your evening. I still think you're off your tiny little
rocker but ... well, have a good one and have a drink or three on the
family. With any luck a few bottles of
bubbly might give you the clarity you need.'
He handed me two
envelopes and prepared to leave. 'Oh,
and by the way, Ma's conked out after too many lunchtime G&T's so she said
she'll see you on Monday but that I should give you this.' He pointed to the pink envelope in my hand
along with the brown one which clearly contained money. 'She apologised for forgetting that she had
it but said that you know what she's like and ...'
I'd ceased to
hear any other words that came from his mouth as the familiarity of the
handwriting on the pink envelope was etched on my brain.
It was from my
mum.
*****
'What d'you mean,
you didn't read it? How could you resist?'
Evie had arrived
at my barn after work in an attempt to do something with my hair when she'd
heard that I'd had to cancel my salon appointment. The bane of my life, my curls turn to frizz
if not completely tamed and my best friend knew how cranky I'd be if I headed
out for the night looking like a blonde Ronald McDonald after a trip through a
car wash.
'It just didn't
seem the right time,' I explained. 'I
didn't want to rush it as that didn't seem fitting and I didn't want to be
upset before tonight. I mean, let's face
it, nothing's exactly gone according to plan for tonight, has it? No pampering, no down time and no sodding
evening bag to go with my outfit either.'
'Look, Pen. I've said
I'm sorry. I was running late myself and
the shop had just shut by the time I got there.
I did remember to bring that
sequinned one that you bought for the launch party up at the manor and then
loaned to me for Drew's wedding. I'm not
totally useless - and you have to
remember, we can't all be as organised as you. Come on, have another glass of fizzy and let's
get going. It's not every night I get to
be head hen to my best friend. Let's
make this a night to remember and when we get back later, I'll be here when you
read your letter from your mum. You're
right, it's probably better that way.'
*****
Fast forward a
few hours and we're into the toilet scene again - my moment of spending a penny
as another dropped, shall we say.
I'd left the
dance floor desperate for a wee and a make-up repair after much raucous dancing
and laughing.
Hovering over the
toilet seat - years of having 'germs' drummed into me by Mum - I rummaged in my
bag for a tissue after discovering that the paper dispenser next to me was
empty.
As I pulled it
out, something came with it from an inside pocket - damn Evie for bringing this bag for me - my world tilted on its
axis, my legs turned to jelly beneath me and my buttocks landed slap-bang on
the cold, damp loo seat.
Mum would not have approved.
Studying my find
in my hand, time stood still and my heart almost stopped with it.
A Polaroid photo
taken up at the manor's launch four years previously. Crinkled and a little torn at the edges. A snapshot in time. In many ways, history - in other ways still
so very much the present. Him and me.
My boss - and what I suddenly realised had
been my secret and buried crush for more years than I cared to remember. But sadly not the man I was about to head
down the aisle to in a week's time.
Because - and
prepare yourself - I'd never actually set eyes on the man who I was due to
marry. Truth. Oh, I'd been sent an image in an email but
that was the sole extent of my visual knowledge of him.
And in a flash I
could at last see why everyone had declared me totally bonkers. My decision to take control of my life and
force things that should come naturally suddenly seemed like a bad idea. A very bad idea indeed.
If you enjoyed this taster, 'Getting to Know Me' is now available to pre-order ahead of its release this Wednesday. Grab a copy now by clicking on the link below.
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