'Stilettos & Stubble' is Officially Launched!

‘Stilettos & Stubble', my new romcom novel was officially launched on Saturday and we set it off on its literary journey in style.

THE CAST

Me - well I kind of had to be there.

Hubbie - he always insists on an invite!

  

Three close friends who have supported me in so many ways in my writing career - the lovely lady in the photos is my sounding board, proof-reader and general partner in oh-so-many crimes.

Wearing tiaras in an unusual fashion.

 THE PRODUCTION

Our kitchen/dining area needed to be transformed into ‘The Gossamer Glove’ - feathers, sparkles, lights and PINK provided the theme.

 Feather boas where resurrected from drawers and put to good use as a chandelier and welcome archway.

My customised drink mats - I made them by covering with personalised wrapping paper bought from eBay.

 My totally camp centre-piece made from flowers from Poundland and sparkling lights from Asda.

(à la Misfit!)

  The overall look - complete with tiara name card holders, champagne bubbles and handbags of chocs.

  

THE MUSIC

My lovely son finally downloaded my chosen playlist - some of which can be heard here.

THE MENU

Continuing with the pink theme, we started with champagne and frozen fruits (booze courtesy of my lovely Twitter friend, Jackie).

(This is where the photos stopped for a while - we were too hungry! But the food went as follows.)

Cream of roasted red pepper and tomato soup with PINK bread!

Salmon (PINK) fillets with tomatoes, parmesan and dill.  Dauphinoise potatoes, green beans and asparagus.  With PINK garlic dressing.

PINK champagne and mixed berry jelly and PINK cupcakes.

 I was so proud of my Danny la Rue cake topper - he was gorge!

Cheese and biscuits - no PINK, sadly.

THE GAMES

During my food serving time, I provided a picture quiz to keep people occupied- ‘Name that Gay’ - self explanatory really!  Fifteen celebs with their eyes blacked out waiting for my guests to identify them.  Boy George was a tricky one as he was sans hat (and hair!) - I do like to offer a challenge.

After the main course we moved on to, ‘Pin the Di*k on the Drag.’  We gave each of our guests an A3 sheet of paper with Danny la Rue's head (!) pasted at the top.  They all had to draw a naked (but sexless) drag queen in a suitable pose ready to have a penis attached IF they were chosen as the winner.

Cue my 17 year old son to appear from his virtual world of computer games to do the judging.  No, he didn’t think it odd - he’s grown up in this madhouse and knows what we’re capable of.

The drag chosen, we stuck it to the fridge door and off we went, penis and blu-tac in hand, ready to fire!  As you can see, results were unexpected (or expected if you have a filthy mind!).

 The finished drags

 I'm aiming with my penis.

 A bad shot!

This very simple game provided much laughter for five very silly adults.

After our dessert, it was a game for just the men-folk.  Well, I couldn’t host a drag themed event and have them looking so ‘normal’ could I?  Mean?  Me?  Yes!  So we moved on to ‘Pass my Package’.

Again, a variation on the children’s game, I handed them a parcel and the music started up.  Each time it stopped, they would unwrap to find … a scarf, a pair of earrings, a hat … until eventually they were all dressed and ready to hit the stage of any drag club.  Much cheating and slow motion/chucking followed until the final opening revealed a pair of gossamer gloves - very appropriate, don’t you think?

Sadly, these are the photos!!!

 

And for some strange reason (but we are talking my friends!) the very attractive black flower worn by one of my ‘drags’ suddenly took on a life of his own as 'Colin the Ferocious Fascinator' - sipping the champagne bubble blowers, having a smoke, wearing a tiara and providing us with a running commentary of the evening. It’s never normal in The Misfit House!

Our final game was ‘Dear Aunt Tittie’ - in much the same way as ‘Consequences’, each person had to write a drag queen’s dilemma to an agony aunt and then pass their concealed problem to the next person for the response.  The one that provided the most giggles went like this:

Dear Aunt Tittie

When I wear a bikini, I’m not sure where to put ‘it’.

I’ve tried sticking it to the left and to the right but nothing works.

If you were me, would you try the front or the back?

Sincerely,

Troubled!

THE RESPONSE

Dear Reader

Lubricate well, lean forward and touch your toes and I’m sure the situation will improve.

Best,

Aunt Tittie.

And that was the launch for my latest novel.  I had a great time - with a bit of singing and dancing thrown in, it was the perfect way to toast my book.  Hope you’ve enjoyed my pictures and, if you haven’t yet, why not grab a copy of ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ and see what all the fuss is about.  Available at Amazon and Lulu.

Chatty Man meets the Misfit

With the release of ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ just over a week away, I’m feeling a little giddy with all the work and excitement.  Releasing a new book is an exhausting process - the writing really is the easy part - and I’m constantly referring to my faithful list to make sure that everything is on track and ready to go.  Poor hubbie has been worked to a frazzle and I couldn’t do any of this without him.

So as I sink further into my ‘pre-release’ madness, this week I’m indulging myself in an imaginary interview.

Let me set the scene for you … 

‘Stilettos & Stubble’ has been picked up by a HUGE hot-shot producer and is being made into a feature film.  (See, I told you it was indulgent!) and I’ve been invited to talk on Alan Carr’s ‘Chatty Man’- where better?

Hair and make-up have worked wonders on me and I’m wearing a simple, but sexy black jersey dress and strappy shoes.

 

 So that’s me ready to go then - cue huge round of applause as Alan welcomes me on set and I manage to get to my seat without tripping or flashing my knickers.

ALAN:  So, Amanda, what can I offer you to drink, my love?

ME:  Well in the style of my Mummy Misfit books, I guess it has to be a ‘Pink Cock’ if you’ve got one there, Alan.

ALAN:  (huge guffawing and much showing of many teeth)  Oo-er, Missus!  I most certainly have got one hiding somewhere in here and I’m rather partial myself, so I think I might join you.

ALAN:  (sipping and wiping froth from his mouth with a suggestive wink)  Ooh, yum.  Good choice, girlfriend!  Now, tell me a little bit about the novel that this fab movie is based on?  I might just have another pink cock while you chat, if that’s OK?

ME:  Well, Alan, ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ tells the story of a larger than average lady who finds happiness in the most unexpected of places - the film is going to be huge fun with a great cast and soundtrack.

ALAN:  Ooh, yes the music is wonderful.  I had a great little work out to it in the shower this morning - some fantastic tracks, I have to say.  So, what gave you the idea to write about an Amazonian woman?  It’s not the usual type for a chicklit novel, is it?  And you don’t mind me calling it chicklit do you - not gonna hit me with your handbag?

ME:  No, I don’t mind at all!  There’s no shame in writing or reading chicklit - there’s a massive market for it, as much as it’s slagged off.  I got the idea from watching an episode of ‘Miranda’ and suddenly I found I had a whole plot in my head.

 ALAN:  Now, I’ve seen a few clips and it really is very funny but it also has a bit of a message going on in there, doesn’t it?  See, I’m not as thick as I look!  (pulls face at camera)

ME:  Yes, Alan.  It’s all about accepting people for what they are - going beyond the outside shell.  I think everyone in the story learns that in one way or another.

ALAN:  Well with a face like this, I’m all for that philosophy!  More cock?  (he tops up my drink.)  Now, it’s been a really exciting year for you, hasn’t it?  It’s not just the film coming out but also a mini series based on the ‘Mummy Misfit’ books.  How exciting is that?

ME:  Very exciting!  My readers have often told me that the Misfit books would make great TV but it just seemed that it would never happen.  Now it’s almost in the can and I think they’ve done a great job with it.  It’s everything I’d hoped it would be.

ALAN:  Is it true that you got chased out of Putney by Yummy Mummies wielding designer handbags because they were so annoyed with you?  

ME:  No Alan, that’s not true.  Most of the mums have been very supportive - and those that haven’t obviously see a snippet of themselves in the nastier mums in the book.  That’s their problem - I’m having the last laugh!

ALAN:  And what about ‘Fenella’ - Mummy Misfit’s best friend?  She’s the posh totty with a heart, isn’t she?  Is she real or made-up?

ME:  There is a Fenella in my life but the character was very loosely based on her.  It is a work of fiction and I think people need to remember that.

ALAN:  So are you saying that your Fenella wouldn’t sing a song on your breakfast bar and then fall off?

ME:  No, I’m not.  My Fenella would definitely do that!

ALAN:  Ooh, we should get her on the show!  Now, you often have gentlemen of the homosexual persuasion in your books - why is that?

ME:  Well, coming from a theatrical background, a lot of my friends were gay and I always felt more comfortable with them than I did with the girls.  Writing about them just comes easily to me.

ALAN:  If you were going to write about a really handsome gay guy looking for lurrrve (raises eyebrows at the camera) would you use me as inspiration and what would your plot be?

ME:  (trying to contain laughter)  Of course I’d use you, Alan, and I think I’d have you working as a topless carwash assistant who meets the man of his dreams when he brings his throbbing Lamborghini in for a rub down.

ALAN:  (gulps at his pink cock and fans himself)  Oooh, now that’s one book I’d definitely like to read - got a bit hot under the collar there!  (wipes forehead with a lace hankie)  OK, moving swiftly on now, I think we’ll finish up with the closing music from ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ - an uplifting little number, ‘I Am Woman’.  Huge thanks to the lovely Miss Amanda Egan for being on the show - we’re off to share another couple of pink cocks and have a boogie.

 ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ will be released on Kindle at Amazon and in paperback at Lulu on 28^th November.  ‘It’s what’s inside that counts’