Here's my delicious new cover - what do you think?
And here's the blurb:
What happens
when your comfortable life
is suddenly denied you?
When the Chanel make up’s dried up,
the designer gear’s been flogged on eBay
and the Persian rug has been well and truly
pulled out from under you?
Meet Francesca Milton-Harris
is suddenly denied you?
When the Chanel make up’s dried up,
the designer gear’s been flogged on eBay
and the Persian rug has been well and truly
pulled out from under you?
Meet Francesca Milton-Harris
as she realises that one ‘little
mistake’
is going to change her life in ways she
could never have imagined.
THE ALL OR NOTHING GIRL …
is going to change her life in ways she
could never have imagined.
THE ALL OR NOTHING GIRL …
because
sometimes you have to lose it all
to see how much more you can gain.
to see how much more you can gain.
* * * * *
Want a little taster?
Chapter One
My name is Francesca and I am a recovering
spoilt brat.
Hah! And of course I’m well aware that makes me
sound as if I’m at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting where instead of owning up
to a booze problem, I’m admitting to being a filthy rich little madam without a
care in the world but I don’t care. See,
the nasty side of me still pops up on the odd occasion.
But, I have to say, as I stood waiting for the lift at my local
hospital, with barely a penny to my name and a bellyful of arms and legs
waiting to rip me asunder, I couldn’t have felt less like the privileged little
diva I’d spent the best part of twenty-eight years perfecting.
I was alone, truly alone. Well, that was
if you didn’t count the embryo I’d been incubating (read: living off me like a greedy little non rent-paying parasite) for
the past nine months. The free-loading human
I was about to meet, with absolutely
no idea about what that entailed.
I remembered thinking, ‘Shit, this is it! Me and a baby! In a National Health hospital, of all places! Who’d have thought it?’ But as the pains built in their intensity,
I breathed a little deeper and prayed that the lift would arrive swiftly and
deliver me to the comfort of the maternity ward - albeit one where poor people
squeezed out their ugly babies.
Francesca Milton-Harris giving
birth in an NHS hospital? Not while I’ve got breath in me and they’re
still serving cocktails at the Ritz - as my deceased mother used to say.
Yeah, and a fat lot of good that
mantra did her too.
As I waited and jiggled (I’m never
quite sure why I do it but it seems
to work for all nervy situations - and for your information, it’s a kind of hop
from one foot to the other with a little bouncy head sway thrown in for good
measure) I saw (actually smelt first) the most stunningly attractive man I’d
seen in months. No surprises there, considering where I’d been forced to live. You don’t get many Armani models or multi
millionaires wandering around my run down council estate in Shepherd’s Bush - but
more of that later. Anyway, he looked at
his watch (expensive, I instantly noted) and then joined me in my wait for the
lift. He was my type of man - he oozed money, opulence and the finer things in
life. He would have been my ideal date,
pre my baby-growing months and being relegated to the mould-ridden flat where I’d
been forced to take up residence.
And there was I, with hair that
hadn’t seen a stylist in months and a midriff the size of Vesuvius. I won’t go into details about the stirrings
in my nether regions but sadly they had nothing to do with the sight of this
yummy man. Talk about wrong time, wrong
place.
I had no idea that things could
only get worse …
*****
The lift doors finally opened and
Rich Guy smiled and stood back, gesturing for me to go ahead of him. Hmm, a
gentleman too, I thought as the pains subsided for long enough for me to appreciate
his chivalry.
Once inside, he turned to me and
smiled. ‘I take it you’re going to the
same floor as me. Maternity?’
I nodded, suddenly feeling shy - most unlike me - and I instantly made a
mental note to pull myself together.
Francesca Milton-Harris didn’t do
cowering wallflower or helpless little lady.
Or rather the ‘Franny M-H’ of old didn’t - that one had balls and knew how to use them, so to speak.
But where had those balls
gone? Had they packed their Louis
Vuitton cases - oh, how I missed my
designer luggage - and hotfooted it out of town?
No, I wouldn’t have it. I might have been on my uppers but that was
through no fault of my own and if I could still entertain the idea of flirting
with a tasty looking chappy whilst in the throes of labour, I could convince
myself I still had my allure. Sex appeal
didn’t rely on cash or fancy labels, did it?
Although, thinking about it, I’d be hard pushed to list any of my
revolting neighbours with an ounce of charisma or even one that I might
consider romantically if he were the last man on earth. Maybe money did make you sexy.
As I leaned back against the rail
around the lift, I could see that it wasn’t just
money that made Rich Guy so enticing. Oh
yes, he had all the right gear - beautifully cut suit, handmade shoes and the
subtle odour of wealth - but there was a whole lot more going on. He had the hair, the cheekbones and the
complexion of someone who worked hard and played hard - the sort of look that came
from a combination of various therapies and a good healthy dose of sun and
sea. As I said before, in another life,
I knew his type.
I could almost hear my best friend
Tiggy having a jolly good giggle at me and saying, ‘Atta girl,
Frannypoops! Still checking out what’s
on offer even though your lady bits are well and truly closed for
business. You poor,
past-your-sell-by-date little fatty.’
Yes, the pregnancy and my change
in living conditions hadn’t gone down too well with Tiggy and whenever I’d been
looking for sympathy or a shoulder to cry on, she hadn’t been my first port of call.
Would I have been the same if the
situation had been reversed? In all
honesty, probably, yes. It’s what we were,
what we were made of - and that wasn’t
sugar and spice and all things nice. Oh
no, not by any means.
Thrown together at boarding school,
we’d lived the lives of those with little parental love - although we were
compensated by being showered with everything that money could buy. We asked for it, we got it - and boy, did we ask. The only difference now was that Tiggy
continued to demand, and indeed receive, yet I’d been totally cut off.
Well, that and the fact that I was
about to become a single parent living in a one bed flat on the kind of estate
I’d only ever seen in documentaries on the 52 inch plasma flat screen which used
to pop seamlessly out from the foot of my queen sized bed.
Yep, things had certainly changed.
Rich Guy looked at me and smiled
again. I smiled back - nobody could rob
me of the twenty-five grand’s worth of dental work I’d had done over the years,
so I made the most of it. Men had told
me I had a smile that could light up a room, so I could surely add a sparkle to
the six foot square metal box we were currently sharing - even if I was heavy with child.
‘Baby due soon?’ he asked.
I nodded. ‘Any minute now actually,’ I told him as
another contraction reached monstrous proportions. My smile may have turned into a grimace but I
was sure it still displayed my snow white veneers to their best advantage.
‘Better get you to the safety of
the ward quickly then, hadn’t we?’ he comforted at the exact moment that the
lights flickered off and then back on and the lift ground to a halt with a
shuddering thud.
*****
Not ideal, huh? Certainly not for a pathetic specimen who
needed a double whisky before her twice monthly bikini wax and had written ‘Knock
me out’ on her birth plan.
I wasn’t sure if I was grateful
for the fact that the lights had flashed back on or not. If Rich Guy was about to find himself delivering
my sprog, did I really want him
seeing my untrimmed lady garden? (Hair
removal had been one of the first luxuries to bite the dust and I’d learned very
quickly that those areas were too delicate to attack with a blunt Bic - let’s
not go there.) Oh my! Tiggy would lunch out on this debacle for
months.
‘Damn!’ my travelling companion
uttered. Then he turned to me and added,
‘Don’t panic. We’ll be fine. All we need to do is press the alarm and
they’ll have us out in a flash.’
By this time I’d slipped to the
floor and was panting and sweating quite a bit - Mummy would have insisted that
I was doing no such thing as ladies merely ‘lightly glowed’, but trust me on
this, it was pouring off me.
I’d suddenly become aware that I
was sitting in a rather larger puddle than I could possibly have perspired and
I stupidly wondered if I’d peed myself - C minus for failing to attend any
ante-natal classes or making it past the ‘Conception’ chapter in my ‘What You
Need to Know About Having a Baby’ book.
Rich Guy’s voice seemed to be
floating in and out of my consciousness like a badly tuned radio. It was most disconcerting and I tried
desperately to make myself concentrate on what he was saying. From my prone position on the floor, I became
aware that he was talking into the speaker on the wall of the lift and
frantically running his hand through his previously immaculate hair.
‘Yes!’ His Gucci feathers were well and truly
ruffled by now. ‘In lift A and we’re
stuck - a lady here about to give birth.
We need help and quickly!’
‘Agggggh!’ The sound was primal and terrifying and I was
amazed to discover that it had come from me.
Who’d have thought I could make such a vulgar and earthy noise? Oooh, but it helped. It helped quite a lot, actually, so I did
another one for good measure.
‘Agggghhh!’
Rich Guy jumped and I could see
that he was now whispering into the speaker.
I strained my ears to listen but it was fruitless so I went for another
guttural moan.
‘I really think the baby might be
coming NOW!’ I heard him say. Gosh, he
was tuned in. Perhaps he was a doctor, maybe
even a top notch private one, and I’d be OK after all.
‘No. No experience whatsoever, I’m afraid,’ he
said, continuing his conversation with the wall. ‘I’m a business consultant - you don’t get to
witness too many births in my profession.’
Well, that was just great - not a doctor after all and I was
well and truly stuffed. Images of a cosy
private ward at the exclusive Portland
hospital floated through my mind as I felt an overwhelming need to start
pushing. Would my child’s future be
determined by its undignified entry into this world? If that were the case, he was doomed and he’d
have an ASBO before nursery and be doing his first stint in a youth offenders’
prison before his Eleven Plus.
‘Unnnnggggh.’ My vocal repertoire had taken on a whole new
tone and I was mortified to discover that I was actually removing my underwear
- La Perla, of course, but sadly last season and a little past their best. OK, so I hadn’t done the classes or prepped
myself about what would happen to my body when the little shi… darling … made its appearance but
thankfully my body seemed to have taken over and knew what it should be doing
all by itself.
Which was just as well, as I
shortly found myself with a furry little head poking its way out of my
frou-frou. Oh yes, my body knew what it
was doing alright!
‘No. I don’t think she’s got anything with her.’ I could still hear him talking to whoever was
at the other end of the stupid speaker and clearly being of no help to us
whatsoever.
‘Do you have a bag with you?’ He was in my face now and the sight of his
calming eyes flanked by sweeping lashes took my mind off the pain for long
enough for me to take a normal breath.
‘A bag?’ What did he mean? A Chanel?
A Birken? No - I’d flogged off
all but one of mine long ago on eBay - how was a girl meant to live?
‘Your overnight holdall. You know?
Nappies, a blanket, clothes.’
Ah! No. I
didn’t. And I must admit I felt pretty
stupid but, as another gut-wrenching pain tore through me, I simply shook my
head and emitted another farmyard noise.
‘The head’s right out now.’ He was back speaking to the useless person in
the wall again. ‘I can see it quite
clearly … OK … yes … I’ll take my jacket off and get it ready for … oh shit … I
can see shoulders now … really quite broad ones …’
‘BOLLLLLLOCCCCKKKKS’ Yep, those shoulders were pretty broad! I huffed,
puffed, panted and wondered if I’d ever walk again after the pain I’d just
experienced.
But there was that beautiful face
again - right in mine - and I could smell luxury and toothpaste. I could trust that face - and let’s consider
the facts here, I had no choice.
‘Listen to me,’ the face
said. ‘They say you’re doing really
well. We can do this. OK? Apparently, the shoulders are the worst
bit. A couple more big, big breaths and
I think we’re there.’
We? Where did this ‘we’
business keep coming from? I didn’t see him writhing in agony and
hyperventilating.
‘It’s pretty ouchy,’ I told him
pathetically, and those delicious eyes crinkled and smiled into my own.
‘You’re being so brave … sorry, I don’t even know your name! But I’m going to call you Ms. Plucky. Come on - push that little plucker out!’
I would have laughed but I’d found
that I needed every last ounce of energy for one final humongous grunt.
‘Oh, wow!’ Rich Guy was sitting on the floor between my
legs, with a bucket load of guts and gore on his approximately two grand jacket
and a screaming new baby blinking up at him.
I couldn’t ever remember seeing a
man looking quite so happy in the whole of my life.
SO that's THURSDAY 26th JUNE - at Amazon for Kindle and in paperback at Lulu.
Ok now I officially hate you! How on earth can you tease me like this again???? Something's have to change missy or I'll drink all the Babycham myself! #Baggiesbeta x
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