Jabbering with Jackie

I’m being interviewed this week by a regular here at the Misfit blog.  She can always be relied on for a series of weird and wacky questions and can be followed on Twitter @jackie495.  We’ve met for lunch a couple of times and, as you may be able to tell from this blog, she’s not entirely normal!  Perfect for the Misfit!

Here are her questions:

You're a bit of a party animal, so what is your favourite party trick?

I don’t really have a ‘trick’ as such but I do pride myself on throwing a good dinner party with lovely food and fun entertainment.  I have a friend who tells me I ‘give good table’!  I LOVE to make the dining area look special as I feel it tells my guest that I’ve made an effort for them.

A murder mystery table I put together.

What's the craziest thing you've ever done?

Oh boy, that’s even more tricky.  I don’t really do crazy things because I’m too much of a coward!  It would probably have to be making the decision to send our son to private school.  Fifteen years of school fees is a heck of a lot of money - money we often haven’t had - and times have been scary.  When you start on the private route, you don’t want to let your child down.  We’ve been incredibly fortunate to receive help from various avenues and we’ve limped through to his final year.  Every day, I am so grateful for that.

My son's school

Are you scared of big hairy spiders?

Absolutely terrified but I would never kill one.  I get my paper and my glass and transport them to the garden - I always imagine that they stick two little fingers up at me for chucking them out in the cold.

Would you stay in a haunted castle overnight all on your own? 

Never, never, never. No, no, no!  Why?  Why would I want to do that?  I wouldn’t even do it for a million.  Just, NO!

What characteristics are important to you in a friend?

Loyalty, honesty and a sense of fun.

You acquired a goat called Billy last September.  How is he doing now?  Are he and his wifey, Fanny still going strong? Any more kids on the way?

For new readers, Billy was a toy goat bought for me by Jackie as she knows I have a love of them.  When Billy came to live in London he was lonely, so he went on a Goat Dating website and met Fanny.  Soon after, little Dick was born but, sadly Billy and Fanny were not very responsible parents and they asked if Dick could go and live with Jackie while they went on a cruise.  They have not yet returned!

Do you have a tattoo? If so, can you reveal where?  If not, would you consider having one done and what would it be?

No, I don’t have a tattoo and I would never consider one.  I hate them with a passion.  Australian hubbie wants to get the Southern Cross on his arm so that he feels close to Oz.  I have threatened him with divorce.

I used to do a spot of 'Wing Walking' and I'm thinking of taking it up again - would you join me in a tandem walk?

Oh, don’t make me laugh!  No!  Never!  I need a nappy change just thinking about it.  Take my hubbie, he’ll do anything.

What's your favourite sandwich?

Hmm … would probably have to be avocado, mozarella, tomato and basil.  Or just Marmite.

Do you ever get stuck for something to say in a crowd?

Oh yes, all of the time.  I’m very shy and find it difficult to make small talk with strangers.  I have a friend (‘Fenella’) who always seems to know the right thing to say - it’s a real talent and I wish I had it.

Since our last interview, have you cut down on your smoking?

No.  Next.

What is the best day of the week for you, and why?

I love Fridays.  Who doesn’t?  It’s the thrill of the weekend ahead and knowing that you’ve put in a good week of work.  Having said that, the actual day for me is a bit of a nightmare as I spend it chauffeuring my son and my mother - I’m in the car from 11.45 until 2.15.  I won’t bore you with the journeys but suffice it to say, I spend a lot of time hanging around so I take the laptop and the Kindle.

If you could change just one thing about you, what would it be?

I’d like to worry less.  I’d like to be like my husband and always see the positive, never think ‘what if’.

What's your favourite meal?

I’d start with a lovely retro prawn cocktail - you just can’t beat it!  Then I’d have boeuf bourguignon, dauphinoise potatoes, green beans and asparagus.  Pud would be something decadently chocolatey and some very gooey, stinky cheese.

Do you flirt with waiters to get 10% off your food bill?

Nah!  50% and we could be talking.

What words upset you?

Abuse, cruelty, bullying, racism, mortgage, bills, debt, death, cancer, grief, loss, loneliness.

What's your favourite word and can you put it in a sentence for us readers?

I can never hear the word ‘sink-hole’ without laughing.  I know it’s awful because people lose houses and their lives where there are ‘sink-holes’ but it just does something to me. Sorry.

Would you like a song written about you and who would you like to sing it to you?

Yes, I’d like my hubbie to write a song for me.  He has a lovely voice (he sings from the MINUTE he gets up!) so I think he should!

Would you giggle when that person is serenading you?

Probably!  And then I might cry - I’m a bit soppy.

If you could be one person for a day, who would it be and why?

I’d like to be me - except very, very wealthy ("money is no object" type wealthy) I’d like to drive about in my Bentley Continental, shopping, lunching and book signing.  I’d end with cocktails, dinner and a bit of dancing in a club.  That would be really depressing though because then I’d have to go back to being ‘poor me’ - yuck!

What's your biggest turn off?

Socks and sandals with bum-eating shorts.  Uggh!  Feel a bit sick now.

What was the last movie you watched at the cinema (silent movies aside!)?

Cheeky madam!  We don’t have a lot of time for the cinema at the moment as we are mid-edit (read: screaming, arguing, sulking, hissy-fits) but the last film we saw (as a couple - not teen related) was ‘Sweeney Todd’ - LOVED it and have since got the DVD and watched it many times.

Thank you for those questions, Jackie.  It's always a joy to have you on the blog. to lunch with or to chat with.

If this blog has given you a little more insight into what makes a Mummy Misfit, head on over and check my books out.  UK, here or .com here - all under £2.  Also in paperback at Lulu.