'STILETTOS & STUBBLE' is released!

WOO HOO!  Today’s the day!!!

Wednesday 28^th November is the official release date for my new romcom, ‘Stilettos & Stubble’.  It can be downloaded straight to your kindle for just £1.97 here at Amazon UK or here for the States, Australia and India.  You can also bag yourself a paperback copy at Lulu.

For those of you who haven’t read the blurb yet, here goes:

All her life Persephone’s

been branded a

‘Big Girl’.

Criticised by her outwardly perfect mother,

dearly loved by her father, she’s the

‘Queen of Low Self Esteem’.

Finding herself suddenly

immersed in a world of

glitz and glamour,

where nothing is quite as it seems,

will she finally realise

‘It’s what’s inside that counts’?

You can also go to Amazon and click on ‘Look Inside’ (this feature will kick in soon) to read the first few pages and see if it’s the book for you - if you like a few giggles, some gorgeously camp men and a sprinkle of romance, I’m sure it will be!

Releasing a book is draining, so tonight will be spent checking my sales figures and sipping bubbly with my hubbie - the official launch will be on 8^th December with a couple of close friends who have supported my writing journey.  It will, no doubt, be a raucous affair - watch this space for the blog and photos.

But as I recover from one release, I'll be preparing for another.  My novella, ‘Christmas Deliverance’ will be on sale from Saturday 1^st December - also at Amazon and Lulu.

Want to see the cover?

Drum roll …

And to whet your appetite, here’s the blurb for that one:

It’s that time of year again and the

Willoughby family think they’ve

got everything wrapped up.

Each concealing their own issues, they

return to widowed mum Maggie

to play at happy families.

But an unexpected delivery

challenges their perceptions of one other

- and of themselves.

Grab a mulled wine, snuggle up by the fire

and share a family Christmas with a difference.

Because Christmas doesn’t always deliver what you want

- but sometimes it might be just what you need.

Hope that’s left you wanting more and feeling just a tiny bubble of festive spirit.

Right, I’m off to check my sales!  I leave you with the acknowledgements for ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ as they appear in the book and, as I’m in a party mood, the song which I associate most with my ‘new baby’.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I had such fun writing this book

and just as much fun researching it.

Drag queens and gay guys love to talk

so I had no problem gaining the info I needed!

I really hope I haven’t forgotten anyone here as

I know they’d have my guts for garters!

So huge thanks go to:

My dear friends Geoffers and Eddie

Barbara Bush

Titti La Camp

Wilma Ballsdrop

David Somerset Barnes

Steve Phillips (Stella)

Ian Tink

And for giving me leads to drag queens:

Mireille Eustace

Alison Stockley

Thank you ladies.

 With love to a new friend Jackie Martin

who has been a huge supporter of my books

and wants to be my PA!

As always for my lovely Mum, Robes and Ben.

Chatty Man meets the Misfit

With the release of ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ just over a week away, I’m feeling a little giddy with all the work and excitement.  Releasing a new book is an exhausting process - the writing really is the easy part - and I’m constantly referring to my faithful list to make sure that everything is on track and ready to go.  Poor hubbie has been worked to a frazzle and I couldn’t do any of this without him.

So as I sink further into my ‘pre-release’ madness, this week I’m indulging myself in an imaginary interview.

Let me set the scene for you … 

‘Stilettos & Stubble’ has been picked up by a HUGE hot-shot producer and is being made into a feature film.  (See, I told you it was indulgent!) and I’ve been invited to talk on Alan Carr’s ‘Chatty Man’- where better?

Hair and make-up have worked wonders on me and I’m wearing a simple, but sexy black jersey dress and strappy shoes.

 

 So that’s me ready to go then - cue huge round of applause as Alan welcomes me on set and I manage to get to my seat without tripping or flashing my knickers.

ALAN:  So, Amanda, what can I offer you to drink, my love?

ME:  Well in the style of my Mummy Misfit books, I guess it has to be a ‘Pink Cock’ if you’ve got one there, Alan.

ALAN:  (huge guffawing and much showing of many teeth)  Oo-er, Missus!  I most certainly have got one hiding somewhere in here and I’m rather partial myself, so I think I might join you.

ALAN:  (sipping and wiping froth from his mouth with a suggestive wink)  Ooh, yum.  Good choice, girlfriend!  Now, tell me a little bit about the novel that this fab movie is based on?  I might just have another pink cock while you chat, if that’s OK?

ME:  Well, Alan, ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ tells the story of a larger than average lady who finds happiness in the most unexpected of places - the film is going to be huge fun with a great cast and soundtrack.

ALAN:  Ooh, yes the music is wonderful.  I had a great little work out to it in the shower this morning - some fantastic tracks, I have to say.  So, what gave you the idea to write about an Amazonian woman?  It’s not the usual type for a chicklit novel, is it?  And you don’t mind me calling it chicklit do you - not gonna hit me with your handbag?

ME:  No, I don’t mind at all!  There’s no shame in writing or reading chicklit - there’s a massive market for it, as much as it’s slagged off.  I got the idea from watching an episode of ‘Miranda’ and suddenly I found I had a whole plot in my head.

 ALAN:  Now, I’ve seen a few clips and it really is very funny but it also has a bit of a message going on in there, doesn’t it?  See, I’m not as thick as I look!  (pulls face at camera)

ME:  Yes, Alan.  It’s all about accepting people for what they are - going beyond the outside shell.  I think everyone in the story learns that in one way or another.

ALAN:  Well with a face like this, I’m all for that philosophy!  More cock?  (he tops up my drink.)  Now, it’s been a really exciting year for you, hasn’t it?  It’s not just the film coming out but also a mini series based on the ‘Mummy Misfit’ books.  How exciting is that?

ME:  Very exciting!  My readers have often told me that the Misfit books would make great TV but it just seemed that it would never happen.  Now it’s almost in the can and I think they’ve done a great job with it.  It’s everything I’d hoped it would be.

ALAN:  Is it true that you got chased out of Putney by Yummy Mummies wielding designer handbags because they were so annoyed with you?  

ME:  No Alan, that’s not true.  Most of the mums have been very supportive - and those that haven’t obviously see a snippet of themselves in the nastier mums in the book.  That’s their problem - I’m having the last laugh!

ALAN:  And what about ‘Fenella’ - Mummy Misfit’s best friend?  She’s the posh totty with a heart, isn’t she?  Is she real or made-up?

ME:  There is a Fenella in my life but the character was very loosely based on her.  It is a work of fiction and I think people need to remember that.

ALAN:  So are you saying that your Fenella wouldn’t sing a song on your breakfast bar and then fall off?

ME:  No, I’m not.  My Fenella would definitely do that!

ALAN:  Ooh, we should get her on the show!  Now, you often have gentlemen of the homosexual persuasion in your books - why is that?

ME:  Well, coming from a theatrical background, a lot of my friends were gay and I always felt more comfortable with them than I did with the girls.  Writing about them just comes easily to me.

ALAN:  If you were going to write about a really handsome gay guy looking for lurrrve (raises eyebrows at the camera) would you use me as inspiration and what would your plot be?

ME:  (trying to contain laughter)  Of course I’d use you, Alan, and I think I’d have you working as a topless carwash assistant who meets the man of his dreams when he brings his throbbing Lamborghini in for a rub down.

ALAN:  (gulps at his pink cock and fans himself)  Oooh, now that’s one book I’d definitely like to read - got a bit hot under the collar there!  (wipes forehead with a lace hankie)  OK, moving swiftly on now, I think we’ll finish up with the closing music from ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ - an uplifting little number, ‘I Am Woman’.  Huge thanks to the lovely Miss Amanda Egan for being on the show - we’re off to share another couple of pink cocks and have a boogie.

 ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ will be released on Kindle at Amazon and in paperback at Lulu on 28^th November.  ‘It’s what’s inside that counts’

Tagged and Tagging

This week I was ‘Twitter Tagged’ by @rachelradiostar who blogs at Eternally 28.  She’d answered questions posed by Arwedd at Stepping out in Faith.

As I’ve given 11 facts about myself many times before, I won’t bore you with more so I’ve left that part out. I also decided to take a hotchpotch of both Rachel and Arwedd’s questions as I’d already covered some of the others in the past.  Here goes:

First crush - who and would you now?

I was desperately in love with Richard O’Sullivan from ‘Man About the House'.  I was convinced I’d marry him and, NO, I most definitely wouldn’t now!!

Most expensive single thing you have bought except houses/cars.

Cheating a little bit now but the most expensive thing I own is my engagement ring.  I never tire of looking at it and it fills my heart with joy - worth every penny.  I tried to find a picture but had no luck - it’s a true lover’s knot, set with 12 diamonds.

Your first memory.

Sitting on my potty watching ‘Crossroads’ - glam, huh?!

What was your best subject at school?

A bit predictable but it was English - I always had my head stuck in a book and loved writing stories.  In my day (!) if you wrote a really good ‘composition’ you were allowed to go to the Headmaster and get an ink star stamped on your forehead which you would proudly wear for as long as you could get away without washing!

Have you had your 15 minutes of fame yet?

Yes but I really hope I have more to come.  My short stint in ‘Grange Hill’ saw me featuring in the local paper and all the schoolboys in the area wanted to date me!  In the following clip, I can be seen with very attractive ‘spaniel ears’ perm and brown checked skirt!

'Golden balls' (TV Programme) - would you split or steal?

I’ve never seen a whole episode but it drives me nuts when people steal from their opponents.  I would be totally honest and trusting and would most definitely split.

Do you like Marmite?

I couldn’t live without it.  I use it in gravies and sauces and it’s the one thing I can face eating when I feel unwell.  I always said that if I had a child who didn’t like it, I’d send them back.  Thankfully, my son passed the test.

What story does your family always tell about you?

I am constantly reminded that I was left on the doorstep with the milk.  I wasn’t.  I had older sisters who loved to wind me up.  They have scarred me for life!

Do you bother with Christmas crackers?

Of course!  We all love a bit of tat, don’t we?  Funny story here … one New Year’s Eve my friend ‘Fenella’ called just before we were due to arrive for dinner and asked if I had any crackers.  I arrived with my box of Carr’s Water Biscuits when really she’d meant the pulling variety.

 

What’s your favourite body part and why?

I like my nails because I look after them and treat them well and my legs because they're quite slim and treat me well!

In the lead-up to the release of my Christmas novella (1^st December) I’m tagging four fellow Twitterers with the following festive questions - Michelle Betham, Donna Trinder, Lacey Dearie and Jamie Dougan.

1. What was your best ever Christmas present as a child?
2. How old were you when you began to suspect that Father Christmas may not be real?
3. What would your ideal Christmas involve?
4. Which is your favourite part of the festive season?
5. Have you ever watched the Queen’s speech?
6. Does the Christmas prep fill you with excitement or dread?
7. What would you LOVE to find under your tree this year?
8. Turkey lover or not?
9. Is there anything you eat at Christmas that you never have at any other time of year?
10. You have one wish on a blessed Christmas star - what is it?

Hope you guys enjoy those and that they help to get you into the spirit of things.

Remember ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ is out on 28^th November and ‘Christmas Deliverance’ is out on 1^st December.  My other 3 books are available at Amazon and Lulu.

'Stilettos & Stubble' - The Soundtrack

In the lead up to the release of ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ (28^th November) I’ve been putting together a playlist for my book launch.  This will also come in handy when I’m approached by a hotshot producer who wants to make the book into a TV series or film so I’m way ahead of the game!  I do like to be prepared.

So this week I’ll be treating you to some of my chosen tracks and my reasons behind them.  Grab a drink and enjoy a totally camp ride!

To kick off, I’ll start with my main character, Persephone (pronounced ‘Purse-eff-onie’, or ‘Percy’ as she prefers to be called).  A larger lady who struggles with all things feminine and dainty.  At one point in the book, after leaving a beauty salon, she walks along the road feeling good about herself and humming this song:

MAN I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN

Staying with Percy, my next song is from Mica:

BIG GIRL  

Moving to her new place of work, we have a poignant song which would be performed regularly:

I AM WHAT I AM

If Percy had a theme song, this next one would be it.  And she’d also have her own set of daft dance moves for the chorus (which, much to our son’s amusement, hubbie and I often rehearse).  WHEN ‘Stilletos & Stubble’ is made into a film this will be the end music for the closing titles:

I AM WOMAN

A few numbers that would feature regularly in her work place now.  These are the tracks that get everyone up and shaking their tail (and boa) feathers:

IT’S RAINING MEN - because the ‘girls’ like to dream.

HOT LEGS - for the ‘girls’ she works with.  And Percy has a pretty fine pair of ‘lallies’ too.

(Forgive me while I drool over Rod!)

GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN - and boy, do those ‘girls’ have fun!

 

COPACABANA - the classic nightclub song.

And finally, the song that most of the acts in the club argue over - they all want to perform it - and I want the dress Shirley’s wearing in this video!

 BIG SPENDER

So, has that given you a little taste of Percy’s world?  Would you like to step into the pages for a while and share the glitz and glamour, the bitching and the drama?

Well, not long to wait.  Keep humming those tunes and have them running in your head as you begin reading on 28^th November.  ‘Stilettos and Stubble - it’s what’s inside that counts’.

And don’t forget I have a bonus book coming out on 1^st December - ‘Christmas Deliverance’  - a Novella: because Christmas doesn’t always deliver what you want but, sometimes, it might be just what you need.

An Extra Christmas Treat

An extra blog post for you this week as I think I may have some information that my lovely, loyal readers will be interested in.  At least I hope so …

That time of year is approaching again.  You know, the one where Santa fills your stockings and you eat too much?

Well, call me a fool but, as soon as the final draft for ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ was finished (release date 28^th November), the idea for a Christmas novella I’d been making notes on for a while suddenly took on a life of its own.

And so, unless I get run over by a bus or abducted by aliens, I’ll be releasing a new story on Amazon and Lulu on 1^st December, entitled ‘Christmas Deliverance’ - a novella.

‘Because Christmas doesn't always deliver what you want but,

sometimes, you might get just what you need’

So now you have two dates for your Christmas diary.

28^th November - ‘Stilettos & Stubble’

1^st December - ‘Christmas Deliverance’

As for my December - I may well be found sleeping in a heap under the tree.

Am I mad?  Answers on a postcard please!

All 3 of my current novels can be found on Amazon and Lulu.