'STILETTOS & STUBBLE' is released!

WOO HOO!  Today’s the day!!!

Wednesday 28^th November is the official release date for my new romcom, ‘Stilettos & Stubble’.  It can be downloaded straight to your kindle for just £1.97 here at Amazon UK or here for the States, Australia and India.  You can also bag yourself a paperback copy at Lulu.

For those of you who haven’t read the blurb yet, here goes:

All her life Persephone’s

been branded a

‘Big Girl’.

Criticised by her outwardly perfect mother,

dearly loved by her father, she’s the

‘Queen of Low Self Esteem’.

Finding herself suddenly

immersed in a world of

glitz and glamour,

where nothing is quite as it seems,

will she finally realise

‘It’s what’s inside that counts’?

You can also go to Amazon and click on ‘Look Inside’ (this feature will kick in soon) to read the first few pages and see if it’s the book for you - if you like a few giggles, some gorgeously camp men and a sprinkle of romance, I’m sure it will be!

Releasing a book is draining, so tonight will be spent checking my sales figures and sipping bubbly with my hubbie - the official launch will be on 8^th December with a couple of close friends who have supported my writing journey.  It will, no doubt, be a raucous affair - watch this space for the blog and photos.

But as I recover from one release, I'll be preparing for another.  My novella, ‘Christmas Deliverance’ will be on sale from Saturday 1^st December - also at Amazon and Lulu.

Want to see the cover?

Drum roll …

And to whet your appetite, here’s the blurb for that one:

It’s that time of year again and the

Willoughby family think they’ve

got everything wrapped up.

Each concealing their own issues, they

return to widowed mum Maggie

to play at happy families.

But an unexpected delivery

challenges their perceptions of one other

- and of themselves.

Grab a mulled wine, snuggle up by the fire

and share a family Christmas with a difference.

Because Christmas doesn’t always deliver what you want

- but sometimes it might be just what you need.

Hope that’s left you wanting more and feeling just a tiny bubble of festive spirit.

Right, I’m off to check my sales!  I leave you with the acknowledgements for ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ as they appear in the book and, as I’m in a party mood, the song which I associate most with my ‘new baby’.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I had such fun writing this book

and just as much fun researching it.

Drag queens and gay guys love to talk

so I had no problem gaining the info I needed!

I really hope I haven’t forgotten anyone here as

I know they’d have my guts for garters!

So huge thanks go to:

My dear friends Geoffers and Eddie

Barbara Bush

Titti La Camp

Wilma Ballsdrop

David Somerset Barnes

Steve Phillips (Stella)

Ian Tink

And for giving me leads to drag queens:

Mireille Eustace

Alison Stockley

Thank you ladies.

 With love to a new friend Jackie Martin

who has been a huge supporter of my books

and wants to be my PA!

As always for my lovely Mum, Robes and Ben.

Chatty Man meets the Misfit

With the release of ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ just over a week away, I’m feeling a little giddy with all the work and excitement.  Releasing a new book is an exhausting process - the writing really is the easy part - and I’m constantly referring to my faithful list to make sure that everything is on track and ready to go.  Poor hubbie has been worked to a frazzle and I couldn’t do any of this without him.

So as I sink further into my ‘pre-release’ madness, this week I’m indulging myself in an imaginary interview.

Let me set the scene for you … 

‘Stilettos & Stubble’ has been picked up by a HUGE hot-shot producer and is being made into a feature film.  (See, I told you it was indulgent!) and I’ve been invited to talk on Alan Carr’s ‘Chatty Man’- where better?

Hair and make-up have worked wonders on me and I’m wearing a simple, but sexy black jersey dress and strappy shoes.

 

 So that’s me ready to go then - cue huge round of applause as Alan welcomes me on set and I manage to get to my seat without tripping or flashing my knickers.

ALAN:  So, Amanda, what can I offer you to drink, my love?

ME:  Well in the style of my Mummy Misfit books, I guess it has to be a ‘Pink Cock’ if you’ve got one there, Alan.

ALAN:  (huge guffawing and much showing of many teeth)  Oo-er, Missus!  I most certainly have got one hiding somewhere in here and I’m rather partial myself, so I think I might join you.

ALAN:  (sipping and wiping froth from his mouth with a suggestive wink)  Ooh, yum.  Good choice, girlfriend!  Now, tell me a little bit about the novel that this fab movie is based on?  I might just have another pink cock while you chat, if that’s OK?

ME:  Well, Alan, ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ tells the story of a larger than average lady who finds happiness in the most unexpected of places - the film is going to be huge fun with a great cast and soundtrack.

ALAN:  Ooh, yes the music is wonderful.  I had a great little work out to it in the shower this morning - some fantastic tracks, I have to say.  So, what gave you the idea to write about an Amazonian woman?  It’s not the usual type for a chicklit novel, is it?  And you don’t mind me calling it chicklit do you - not gonna hit me with your handbag?

ME:  No, I don’t mind at all!  There’s no shame in writing or reading chicklit - there’s a massive market for it, as much as it’s slagged off.  I got the idea from watching an episode of ‘Miranda’ and suddenly I found I had a whole plot in my head.

 ALAN:  Now, I’ve seen a few clips and it really is very funny but it also has a bit of a message going on in there, doesn’t it?  See, I’m not as thick as I look!  (pulls face at camera)

ME:  Yes, Alan.  It’s all about accepting people for what they are - going beyond the outside shell.  I think everyone in the story learns that in one way or another.

ALAN:  Well with a face like this, I’m all for that philosophy!  More cock?  (he tops up my drink.)  Now, it’s been a really exciting year for you, hasn’t it?  It’s not just the film coming out but also a mini series based on the ‘Mummy Misfit’ books.  How exciting is that?

ME:  Very exciting!  My readers have often told me that the Misfit books would make great TV but it just seemed that it would never happen.  Now it’s almost in the can and I think they’ve done a great job with it.  It’s everything I’d hoped it would be.

ALAN:  Is it true that you got chased out of Putney by Yummy Mummies wielding designer handbags because they were so annoyed with you?  

ME:  No Alan, that’s not true.  Most of the mums have been very supportive - and those that haven’t obviously see a snippet of themselves in the nastier mums in the book.  That’s their problem - I’m having the last laugh!

ALAN:  And what about ‘Fenella’ - Mummy Misfit’s best friend?  She’s the posh totty with a heart, isn’t she?  Is she real or made-up?

ME:  There is a Fenella in my life but the character was very loosely based on her.  It is a work of fiction and I think people need to remember that.

ALAN:  So are you saying that your Fenella wouldn’t sing a song on your breakfast bar and then fall off?

ME:  No, I’m not.  My Fenella would definitely do that!

ALAN:  Ooh, we should get her on the show!  Now, you often have gentlemen of the homosexual persuasion in your books - why is that?

ME:  Well, coming from a theatrical background, a lot of my friends were gay and I always felt more comfortable with them than I did with the girls.  Writing about them just comes easily to me.

ALAN:  If you were going to write about a really handsome gay guy looking for lurrrve (raises eyebrows at the camera) would you use me as inspiration and what would your plot be?

ME:  (trying to contain laughter)  Of course I’d use you, Alan, and I think I’d have you working as a topless carwash assistant who meets the man of his dreams when he brings his throbbing Lamborghini in for a rub down.

ALAN:  (gulps at his pink cock and fans himself)  Oooh, now that’s one book I’d definitely like to read - got a bit hot under the collar there!  (wipes forehead with a lace hankie)  OK, moving swiftly on now, I think we’ll finish up with the closing music from ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ - an uplifting little number, ‘I Am Woman’.  Huge thanks to the lovely Miss Amanda Egan for being on the show - we’re off to share another couple of pink cocks and have a boogie.

 ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ will be released on Kindle at Amazon and in paperback at Lulu on 28^th November.  ‘It’s what’s inside that counts’

Tagged and Tagging

This week I was ‘Twitter Tagged’ by @rachelradiostar who blogs at Eternally 28.  She’d answered questions posed by Arwedd at Stepping out in Faith.

As I’ve given 11 facts about myself many times before, I won’t bore you with more so I’ve left that part out. I also decided to take a hotchpotch of both Rachel and Arwedd’s questions as I’d already covered some of the others in the past.  Here goes:

First crush - who and would you now?

I was desperately in love with Richard O’Sullivan from ‘Man About the House'.  I was convinced I’d marry him and, NO, I most definitely wouldn’t now!!

Most expensive single thing you have bought except houses/cars.

Cheating a little bit now but the most expensive thing I own is my engagement ring.  I never tire of looking at it and it fills my heart with joy - worth every penny.  I tried to find a picture but had no luck - it’s a true lover’s knot, set with 12 diamonds.

Your first memory.

Sitting on my potty watching ‘Crossroads’ - glam, huh?!

What was your best subject at school?

A bit predictable but it was English - I always had my head stuck in a book and loved writing stories.  In my day (!) if you wrote a really good ‘composition’ you were allowed to go to the Headmaster and get an ink star stamped on your forehead which you would proudly wear for as long as you could get away without washing!

Have you had your 15 minutes of fame yet?

Yes but I really hope I have more to come.  My short stint in ‘Grange Hill’ saw me featuring in the local paper and all the schoolboys in the area wanted to date me!  In the following clip, I can be seen with very attractive ‘spaniel ears’ perm and brown checked skirt!

'Golden balls' (TV Programme) - would you split or steal?

I’ve never seen a whole episode but it drives me nuts when people steal from their opponents.  I would be totally honest and trusting and would most definitely split.

Do you like Marmite?

I couldn’t live without it.  I use it in gravies and sauces and it’s the one thing I can face eating when I feel unwell.  I always said that if I had a child who didn’t like it, I’d send them back.  Thankfully, my son passed the test.

What story does your family always tell about you?

I am constantly reminded that I was left on the doorstep with the milk.  I wasn’t.  I had older sisters who loved to wind me up.  They have scarred me for life!

Do you bother with Christmas crackers?

Of course!  We all love a bit of tat, don’t we?  Funny story here … one New Year’s Eve my friend ‘Fenella’ called just before we were due to arrive for dinner and asked if I had any crackers.  I arrived with my box of Carr’s Water Biscuits when really she’d meant the pulling variety.

 

What’s your favourite body part and why?

I like my nails because I look after them and treat them well and my legs because they're quite slim and treat me well!

In the lead-up to the release of my Christmas novella (1^st December) I’m tagging four fellow Twitterers with the following festive questions - Michelle Betham, Donna Trinder, Lacey Dearie and Jamie Dougan.

1. What was your best ever Christmas present as a child?
2. How old were you when you began to suspect that Father Christmas may not be real?
3. What would your ideal Christmas involve?
4. Which is your favourite part of the festive season?
5. Have you ever watched the Queen’s speech?
6. Does the Christmas prep fill you with excitement or dread?
7. What would you LOVE to find under your tree this year?
8. Turkey lover or not?
9. Is there anything you eat at Christmas that you never have at any other time of year?
10. You have one wish on a blessed Christmas star - what is it?

Hope you guys enjoy those and that they help to get you into the spirit of things.

Remember ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ is out on 28^th November and ‘Christmas Deliverance’ is out on 1^st December.  My other 3 books are available at Amazon and Lulu.

'Stilettos & Stubble' - The Soundtrack

In the lead up to the release of ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ (28^th November) I’ve been putting together a playlist for my book launch.  This will also come in handy when I’m approached by a hotshot producer who wants to make the book into a TV series or film so I’m way ahead of the game!  I do like to be prepared.

So this week I’ll be treating you to some of my chosen tracks and my reasons behind them.  Grab a drink and enjoy a totally camp ride!

To kick off, I’ll start with my main character, Persephone (pronounced ‘Purse-eff-onie’, or ‘Percy’ as she prefers to be called).  A larger lady who struggles with all things feminine and dainty.  At one point in the book, after leaving a beauty salon, she walks along the road feeling good about herself and humming this song:

MAN I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN

Staying with Percy, my next song is from Mica:

BIG GIRL  

Moving to her new place of work, we have a poignant song which would be performed regularly:

I AM WHAT I AM

If Percy had a theme song, this next one would be it.  And she’d also have her own set of daft dance moves for the chorus (which, much to our son’s amusement, hubbie and I often rehearse).  WHEN ‘Stilletos & Stubble’ is made into a film this will be the end music for the closing titles:

I AM WOMAN

A few numbers that would feature regularly in her work place now.  These are the tracks that get everyone up and shaking their tail (and boa) feathers:

IT’S RAINING MEN - because the ‘girls’ like to dream.

HOT LEGS - for the ‘girls’ she works with.  And Percy has a pretty fine pair of ‘lallies’ too.

(Forgive me while I drool over Rod!)

GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN - and boy, do those ‘girls’ have fun!

 

COPACABANA - the classic nightclub song.

And finally, the song that most of the acts in the club argue over - they all want to perform it - and I want the dress Shirley’s wearing in this video!

 BIG SPENDER

So, has that given you a little taste of Percy’s world?  Would you like to step into the pages for a while and share the glitz and glamour, the bitching and the drama?

Well, not long to wait.  Keep humming those tunes and have them running in your head as you begin reading on 28^th November.  ‘Stilettos and Stubble - it’s what’s inside that counts’.

And don’t forget I have a bonus book coming out on 1^st December - ‘Christmas Deliverance’  - a Novella: because Christmas doesn’t always deliver what you want but, sometimes, it might be just what you need.

An Extra Christmas Treat

An extra blog post for you this week as I think I may have some information that my lovely, loyal readers will be interested in.  At least I hope so …

That time of year is approaching again.  You know, the one where Santa fills your stockings and you eat too much?

Well, call me a fool but, as soon as the final draft for ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ was finished (release date 28^th November), the idea for a Christmas novella I’d been making notes on for a while suddenly took on a life of its own.

And so, unless I get run over by a bus or abducted by aliens, I’ll be releasing a new story on Amazon and Lulu on 1^st December, entitled ‘Christmas Deliverance’ - a novella.

‘Because Christmas doesn't always deliver what you want but,

sometimes, you might get just what you need’

So now you have two dates for your Christmas diary.

28^th November - ‘Stilettos & Stubble’

1^st December - ‘Christmas Deliverance’

As for my December - I may well be found sleeping in a heap under the tree.

Am I mad?  Answers on a postcard please!

All 3 of my current novels can be found on Amazon and Lulu.

Reader Appreciation Award Nomination

It’s a week of short, sharp, snappy answers as I’ve been tagged by three Twitter friends and want to cover them all.

First up is my friend Michelle Betham (whose books and blog can be found here) who nominated me for a 'Reader Appreciation Award'. 

Michelle asks:

What’s your favourite book/books of all time?

I can’t say I have a favourite book, but my fave writers are Maeve Binchy and Lisa Jewell.  I love their wonderfully unravelling plots and character development. 

What time of day do you prefer to write?  Do you have a routine?

When it’s not the school holidays I write from about 8.30 until 4, Monday to Friday.  If a plot’s really powering along I’ll also write at the weekend and in the evenings.  My only routine is to crack on!

Who or what inspired you to pick up a pen and write?

I’ve always loved writing and have done so for as long as I can remember - I blame Enid Blyton and Noel Streatfield, the authors I grew up on.

How do you get the inspiration to create characters for your books?

I really don’t know!  They come from nowhere - a bit spooky really.  Oh, and I love to ‘people watch’ - that helps.

Random one here … Favourite TV programme.  Have you got one?

From the past, ‘The Good Life’ and the present, ‘Come Dine With Me.’

If you won the lottery, what would be the first thing you'd buy?

I’d clear my debts and buy an instant ticket to get my hubbie to Oz to share the weekend with his family.

What makes you nervous and why?

Everything!  I’m a Nervous Nelly, as my hubbie calls me.

Have you ever bought anything from a home shopping channel, and if you have, what was it?

I haven’t, no.  If funds allowed, I could quite easily be a shopaholic so I think buying from the comfort of my sofa could be dangerous.  eBay is too tempting already!

And finally ... bath or shower?  Which do you prefer?

Easy, peasy - huge bubble bath EVERY night - the perfect way to end my day and dream up new plots.

Thanks for those Michelle.

Next up is a set of questions from writer friend Tucker @JamieTDougan.  His blog and books can be found here.

Where do you do most of your writing/blogging?

I vary between the kitchen table and the sofa upstairs in the living room but just this last week I picked up a gorgeous old school teacher’s desk in a charity shop.  This is where I can be found now - with a soppy grin on my face.

Favourite book or books from your childhood?

As mentioned before all the Blyton and Streatfield books - my first introduction to ‘chicklit’ - stories for girls.

Who is your favourite fictional character?

Elvira from Noel Coward’s play ‘Blythe Spirit’ - she’s such a flirt and so mischievous.  I always wanted to play her in my thespian days but sadly, never did.

Have you ever Googled yourself and been shocked at what you found?

I now know that I have to Google myself every day (sounds rude) as, after I’d finished my free promo for the Diary, we realised that pirate sites had got hold of it and were continuing to give it away for nothing.  We keep a daily check on them now and get them to remove them.

What's your favourite time of the day and why?

I love early evening - time for a glass of wine, a chat with my mum and to reflect on the work I’ve achieved that day.

Who would play you in the movie of your life?

Meryl Streep - I think she’s an amazing actress and can literally become anyone - she’s a witch, I tell you!  Hubbie would prefer Kylie.

One material possession that you absolutely could not live without?

My car.  It’s essential every single day for my mum and son.  Without it, our lives would fall apart.

Have you ever been naked in public?

No!  And anyone that tells you otherwise is lying!

What is your dream car?

Ah!  *runs off to Google for the umpteenth time to have a sneaky look* The Bentley Continental Convertible.  Might need to sell a few more books though!

 I’ve also been nominated by my friend Donna Trinder at ‘Room ForReading’ and I need to give five random facts about myself.  As I’ve been tagged on this subject in the past, I’ve had to try to dig a little deeper.  So, here we go …

1. I love to read while I’m cooking - stir, stir, chop, chop, read, read.
2. My oldest friend of over thirty years suffers from Tourette’s.
3. I love lists.  I make a list for everything.  This indulges my passion for fancy notebooks!
4. I never have naked nails - they are always painted.
5. My dad and I promised that we’d meet in heaven - and we will.

As part of the rules of Michelle and Tucker’s nomination, I need to devise questions and pass on the award to a fellow blogger.  These questions go to Donna.

What is your strength?

What is your weakness?

You have two gorgeous sons.  Would you have liked a daughter and, if so, what would you have called her?

Where do you see yourself in ten years time?

If you could have ANYTHING for Christmas, what would it be?

If you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life, what would it be?

What would be your dream fancy dress costume?

Phew!  Hope you made it through all of those and thanks to Michelle, Tucker and Donna for giving me food for thought.

Don’t forget my latest novel ‘Stilettos & Stubble’ will be released on Kindle and at Lulu on 28^th November - ‘It’s what’s inside that counts!’

More About The Misfit

This week I’m continuing with a series of questions posed to me by a Twitter pal, @jackie495.  You can read the last interview here.  Jackie and I met on Twitter a few months back and instantly hit it off.  After meeting face to face, we regularly have a gossip on the phone and we’ll be getting together again in November - the joy of social networking, where faceless people become real friends!

These are the things Jackie wanted to know about Mummy Misfit:

What’s your favourite colour?

Black, every time!  The majority of my wardrobe is black.  It’s slimming, classy and can be dressed up or down.  A nightmare for cat and dog hair though!

We've all had weird dreams Amanda, but what’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

The most peculiar dream I ever had was when I was about five or six.  There are some local shops just around the corner from us and every time we go there the dream still comes back to me vividly.  I was being chased around the area by a giant gollywog and he was laughing in a really menacing way.  This dream has stayed with me for 43 years - and still makes me shiver.  The weird thing is I LOVED gollywogs when I was growing up and I had a huge collection of them.  Why would I have a nightmare about them?

A recurring dream - at least once a month - is that I’m on stage and don’t know any of my lines.  It’s horrible!

If you bumped your car into another and the owner wasn't around would you leave your telephone number?

In the words of ‘Rainman’ … ‘I’m an excellent driver!’ so I wouldn’t bump anyone’s car but if I did, of course I’d leave my number - very honest, me!

What’s your favourite joke?

What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is using a feather, kinky is using the whole chicken!

Do you cheat when you play board games or any other kind of game?

No!  I hate cheats and don’t see the point of playing if you have to use underhand tactics.  I do get very stroppy when playing ‘Guitar Hero’ or ‘Buzz’ with hubby and son though.  ‘Guitar Hero’ because son makes me sing songs I don’t know and ‘Buzz’ because I’m always winning until the pie throwing part starts - they always hit me with their pies and I lose all my points! 

Apart from your disgusting smoking habit (ha ha!) do you have any other habits?

Worrying is my worst habit.  I worry about everything.  All of the time.  And I’ll always find something to panic about.  For instance, my books are selling really well  - I should be happy with that, right?  Nope, not me!  I’m already in a flap, thinking about what happens when the sales slow down.  Happily I have a very easy going hubbie who keeps me grounded and talks me back down.

If you were asked to sing a duet with Paul McCartney would you?  And can you actually sing?

I’d love to sing with Sir Paul.  Call me odd but I find him quite tasty!  And, yes, I can hold a tune so I reckon we’d do a good job of it.

What's your favourite film?

I have to be greedy and go for a few here.  ‘Dirty Dancing’, ‘Mamma Mia’, ‘Evita’, ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’, and ‘Shawshank Redemption’.

Where did the inspiration come from to write ‘Stilettos & Stubble’?

I wanted to write about a larger lady - a less than perfect heroine.  Watching Miranda one night, the whole plot popped into my head.  She is my Persephone (people are asking how this is pronounced and it’s ‘Purse - effonie’ but she prefers Percy or Perce).  Putting her in a drag club setting provided heaps of opportunities for humour - and, no, she doesn’t work as a drag queen!  Read the book to find out more - released 28^th November.

If you found a magic lamp, which three wishes would you ask the genie to grant?

Ooh tricky!  I think the simplest option would be health, wealth and happiness.  And one extra, please - to always keep my son safe and guide him to make sensible decisions in life.

Thanks to Jackie for these weird and wonderful questions.  I’m happy to receive any others from my readers and also always willing to do guest blogs.  Leave a comment or DM me on Twitter.

Check out my three books on Amazon and Lulu  - soon to become four!